Jokes about balls – the true universal language.
The latest Pokémon GO update brought with it a new feature: appraisals for your Pokémon by your team leader (Candela for Valor, Blanche for Mystic, or Spark for Instinct). While that may sound like a perfectly harmless implementation, the fact that the leaders use your Pokémon’s nickname when evaluating them has led the internet to giggle over making them say inappropriate things.
▼ Blanche doesn’t look like she’s being entirely sincere…
▼ Whoa, hey there Spark! That one hits a little too close to home.
Of course, the update affects Japanese versions too, and the Japanese side of the internet has been showing that they’re not above laughing at genital jokes.
It started off with Exeggutes being appraised, which has the unfortunate name of Tamama in Japanese, basically translating to “balls.”
(Translation below)
https://twitter.com/114514Tweet/status/768260312021671937“Overall your balls are marvelous, a work of art.”
“Your balls have really caught my eye.”
“Your balls are smaller than average.”
And that opened the floodgates for everybody to get their Kindergarten-giggle-inducing Pokémon names appraised.
▼ “This alone makes me so happy I’m on this team.”
これだけでもう赤チームに入って良かったと思える pic.twitter.com/zK8ei02JS3
— ロペ (@lope_peca) August 24, 2016
“All right! Let’s take a look at your dick!”
“Overall your dick is not suited for battle, but I still like it.”
“Your dick is so small! You found a good one.”
尚、青チームの場合 pic.twitter.com/Mj9LcRmQ0z
— 伊集院 (@pazu_nyan) August 24, 2016
“All right, let’s take a look at your My Balls.”
“Your My Balls is so small, it’s a new record. Marvelous.”
“Overall your My Balls are better than average.”
ポケGOにポケモンを診断してくれる機能が追加されたと聞いて pic.twitter.com/IPldEPIKGU
— 草野光 (@gakkari_orz) August 23, 2016
https://twitter.com/G9Yzrv8sDOQgMpA/status/768319892583874560“All right! Shall we take a look at your wee wee?”
“Overall, your wee wee is perfect. Very dependable.”
“Your wee wee is giant! The biggest I’ve ever seen.”
“The size of your dick… I can’t even classify it. How interesting.”
手厳しいですね pic.twitter.com/z6GbpYQ2T3
— 或夜🍆 (@alya__425) August 24, 2016
“Wow, your wee wee is tiny. Usually they’re a bit bigger than that.”
How much longer will Ninantic allow the dick jokes to last? We’d expect this to be “fixed” in the next update, though if it were up to the team leaders, it seems like at least one of them wouldn’t mind if it stuck around for a while:
Source: Hachima Kiko, My Game News Flash
Featured/top image: Twitter/@Asturoz

Latest Pokémon GO update unintentionally turns the game into an Attack on Titan crossover【Pics】
How many of these Pokémon GO memes can you relate to?
Updates on Nintendo’s revolutionary Pokémon Go: Gyms, teams, location-specific Pokémon and more
The glitch this Japanese gamer encountered in Pokémon Go is just too cruel for words【Video】
Starbucks Japan releases new sakura goods and drinkware for cherry blossom season 2026
Now is the time to visit one of Tokyo’s best off-the-beaten-path plum blossom gardens
Starbucks Japan unveils new sakura Frappuccino for cherry blossom season 2026
Foreign tourists in Japan will get free Shinkansen tickets to promote regional tourism
A visit to T-CAT, Tokyo’s often forgotten City Air Terminal【Photos】
Tokyo restaurant’s crazy huge rice omelet has 600 grams (1.3 pounds) of rice
It’s like the samurai era never ended at this beautiful Japanese mountain town
Super-salty pizza sends six kids to the hospital in Japan, linguistics blamed
Yakuza bosses struggling to upgrade phones from 3G
Adorable New “Pokemomo” Brand Goods Coming to Pokemon Center Stores Across Japan
Japan’s newest Shinkansen has no seats…or passengers [Video]
Foreigners accounting for over 80 percent of off-course skiers needing rescue in Japan’s Hokkaido
Take a trip to Japan’s Dododo Land, the most irritating place on Earth
Can you eat lunch in Tokyo for less than 500 yen?
A look back on 40 years of Japanese schools banning stuff
New Family Mart cinema opens inside Japanese airport
Japan releases first official sakura cherry blossom forecast for 2026
Starbucks Japan releases new drinkware and goods for Valentine’s Day
Archfiend Hello Kitty appears as Sanrio launches new team-up with Yu-Gi-Oh【Pics】
China’s don’t-go-to-Japan warning looks to be affecting tourist crowds on Miyajima
Survey asks foreign tourists what bothered them in Japan, more than half gave same answer
Japan’s human washing machines will go on sale to general public, demos to be held in Tokyo
We deeply regret going into this tunnel on our walk in the mountains of Japan
Studio Ghibli releases Kodama forest spirits from Princess Mononoke to light up your home
Major Japanese hotel chain says reservations via overseas booking sites may not be valid
Put sesame oil in your coffee? Japanese maker says it’s the best way to start your day【Taste test】
No more using real katana for tourism activities, Japan’s National Police Agency says
Pokémon memes go viral as Japan pokes fun at Exeggutor’s new long-necked Alola form
Pokémon Go warned players not to play during typhoons, players played anyway
Searches for “Pokémon Porn” surge on adult websites following release of Pokémon GO
Hilariously dark YouTube video shows how Pokémon GO spawns its common Pokémon【Video】
Can you catch Pokémon GO Pokémon in the Sahara Desert? We head to North Africa and find out
Pokémon Gold and Silver Pocket Monsters finally added to Pokémon GO!
Exercise-hating Pokémon GO player discovers another way to find and hatch Pokémon without walking
Terrifying video shows Japanese man playing Pokémon GO while driving sightseeing bus 【Video】
Pokémon Go “gyms” and “poke-stops” in Japan located in McDonald’s
Pokémon GO player claims his in-game snapshot shows Japan’s new emperor and Pikachu together
Prosecutors Seek 3.5-Year Sentence for Russian Pokémon Go Blogger
How to hatch your Pokémon GO eggs without taking a single step
We asked a Niantic insider 30 questions about Pokémon Go, learned a lot of useful information