There’s nothing particularly wrong with RocketNews24’s “.com” domain name. We haven’t declared ourselves an autonomious principality (yet), so .gov is out of the question. And while some (me) might argue that .handsomeandwittyreporterswhowritesuchgreatarticlesthatmenareinspiredandladiesswoon is the most accurate description of what we do around here, for some reason that’s not available for official use.

So we ended up with plain old .com, our only logical option out of the top-level domains recognized by the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers, or ICANN. But if only RocketNews24 had come into existence a little later, we could have taken advantage of ICANN’s recent approval of .ninja as a domain name.

ICANN announced the .ninja domain name registry agreement on November 7. As in all affairs involving ninja, the exact details of how the agreement came about are shrouded in mystery, as are the possible requirements and stipulations regarding usage of the domain name.

Lacking hard facts, we’re left with no option but to turn to baseless speculation as to which websites will adopt the .ninja suffix, and have put together a lineup of some of the Internet’s most popular websites that we feel could benefit from a little shadow warrior cameo in their address.

1. amazon.com → amazon.ninja

You know what’s not awesome about ninja women? Not a single thing. And while the actual term for female shinobi is kunoichi, ICANN has been dragging their feet on approving the word as a domain name.

2. tumbler.com → tumbler.ninja

This one is oddly appropriate, given the legendary acrobatic skills of the ninja.

3. apple.com → apple.ninja

Unfortunately, part of the increase in website traffic will be from people mistakenly thinking this is the place to download the sequel to popular smartphone game Fruit Ninja.

4. ask.com → ask.ninja

A ninja is always calm, in control, and prepared. Who wouldn’t want to get some advice from one? The only problem is, have you proved yourself worthy of receiving an answer?

5. thepiratebay.sx → thepiratebay.ninja

Tired of the pirate vs. ninja debate? Why not quarantine both at the same website?

6. go.com → go.ninja

Isn’t Vanilla Ice about due for a comeback?

7. pornhub.com → pornhub.ninja

Similar to amazon.ninja, this seems like a one-two punch of a pair of things the Internet can’t get enough of. However, we doubt you’d be able to find a pair of exhibitionist shinobi. True ninja always operate without being seen, and we can only assume this utmost commitment to discretion extends to their style of lovemaking as well.

8. en.rocketnews24.com → en.rocketnews24.ninja

We’ve done well by .com, and at the moment there are no plans for RocketNews24 to adopt the .ninja domain name, but we’re all secretly hoping our bosses decide to go this route. Aside from being able to introduce ourselves at parties as “professional ninja,” we’ll also have a socially acceptable excuse to escape awkward conversations at said social functions.

Oh yes, please go on about your opinions regarding politics and religion – POOF!

Source: Japaaan Magazine, ICANN