
I’ve marked my fair share of English exam papers here in Japan, and there have been a few gems of hilarity in amongst the spelling mistakes and butchered grammar, but nothing that measures up to this beauty. One student’s answer to a simple question was so deep and existential, it read like poetry.
An English teacher in Japan asked their students to answer the question “What would you do if you were shipwrecked on an island?”, and received one particular answer that stood out in terms of content. As with anything of even vague interest, it was immediately posted to Reddit, the self-declared front page of the internet.
It all seems fairly normal, if a bit awkward with the student clearly trying to show off their knowledge of conjunctions, until you get to the end. Then things take a distinctly morbid turn. In the comments, the student has been branded everything from a realist to a nihilist to a genius.
We will enjoy swimming, because it’s fun to swim.
We will do my homework, because it’s fun to do homework..
We will play soccer, because it’s fun to play soccer.
We will wait for death, because can’t do anything.
Well, if that doesn’t just put a chill in your bones. Either this kid is a tortured artist, or s/he randomly chose some words and phrases from the dictionary without actually comprehending their meaning. Whichever it is, they actually have a great grasp of grammar for a junior high school student (trust me, sometimes you’re lucky the words are even the right way round on the page), so they get an A for that, plus a gold star for entertaining the Internet.
And because Redditors are a creative bunch, you can now enjoy this work of art in a beautiful calligraphy more fitting to its enlightened content.
Source: LabQ, Reddit
Images: Reddit, Wikimedia Commons



Japanese student’s “drug dealer” English gaffe confuses foreign ALT
Foreign English teacher in Japan calls student’s ability garbage, says it was an “American joke”
What’s wrong with English education in Japan? Pull up a chair…
Japanese university English teacher fights student misbehaviour with eccentric new rulebook
Japanese students learn English with help from a dating sim artist
Solo travel in Japan: Hidden beer garden in Tokyo is a haven for single visitors
One Piece Day 2026 brings new art, music, and new cast announcements
Tamagotchi evolves into a ring for its 30th anniversary, preorders now open
Family Mart releases Famima convenience store products nationwide, but which ones are worth buying?
Studio Ghibli unveils new anime calendars and diary planners for 2027
Flock to Tomarigi, the viral app that lets you perch in over 1,000 spots throughout Japan
Japan’s birth rate rose for the first half of the year for the first time in over a decade
Family Mart releases new Human Made Cup Noodle in Japan, with freebies for Nigo fans
Hobonichi unveils new 2027 planners, diaries and stationery with One Piece, Suica Penguin, Hello Kitty and a must-buy Mini Techo
Japan’s most popular curry rice restaurant chain, Coco Ichibanya, might be for sale
Japan’s final Penguin Suica train cards have already shipped, and when they’re gone, they’re gone
Japan approves foreign resident visa renewal fee increases of up to 967 percent, starts soon
Japan tripled its departure tax to fund tourism but is using the money on cherry blossoms and bears
Farewell Final Ceremony announced for Tokyo’s life-size Gundam statue, will stream live
Hikaru Utada sings new song in Shinkansen commercial for Japan’s Supreme Class cabins
Nike x One Piece collection brings Devil Fruits to sneakers and streetwear in Japan
12-year-old British girl who went missing in Tokyo found safe after visiting anime sites around Yokohama
7-year-old boy left behind on Mt. Fuji by his own dad
Sushi Bus: Japan’s first conveyor-belt bus lets you eat sushi while sightseeing around Tokyo
Pokémon Center Online designates first Pokémon items that will require Japanese ID card to buy
Japanese toilet aims to attract foreign tourists but not everybody is happy about it
New Japanese vending machine at Shinkansen station sells cups of ice on platform
Study finds hundreds of people in Indonesia legally named after Naruto, Inuyasha, other anime stars
Japan announces sudden 400-percent increase in visa fees for foreigners entering the country
Japan’s human washing machines will go on sale to general public, demos to be held in Tokyo
Studio Ghibli has a new anime out, and there’s only one place in the world where you can see it
Starbucks Japan releases new drinkware and goods for Valentine’s Day
Starbucks Japan releases new sakura goods and drinkware for cherry blossom season 2026
Japan’s newest Shinkansen has no seats…or passengers [Video]
Tokyo subway installing new ticket gates that don’t accept payment through Suica or other IC cards
Japanese ninja certification exam attracts 131 candidates from Japan and abroad
Salomon releases Japan-exclusive Mt. Fuji hiking gear that doubles as an amazing souvenir
Put sesame oil in your coffee? Japanese maker says it’s the best way to start your day【Taste test】
The reason why Japanese students don’t pronounce English properly
English teachers in Japan apologize for having low-proficiency kids say “poison” in assigned video
Over half of Japanese students in nationwide test score zero percent in English speaking section
English conversation school in Japan has clever reminder that students don’t have to be perfect
Sports-playing Japanese junior high students at an all-time low, survey finds
Newest tool to help Japanese people learn English: An all-English isekai light novel
Japanese student teased for American pronunciation gets sweet revenge on classmates
Beautiful anime fantasy mom is now teaching Japanese people how to speak English
Japanese students skip school to protest their re-opening amid growing number of COVID-19 cases