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There are all sorts of unwritten etiquette rules around men’s room urinal use. Don’t talk too much, don’t use a urinal next to someone when there are isolated urinals available, don’t compare size, and never, ever, ever make eye contact.

But this insane new port-o-potty design totally ignores all of that, making your odds of peeing next to someone about a 50/50 chance and all but forcing you to gaze into the eyes of another man while you both urinate simultaneously – a situation so specific, unlikely and repulsive that we’re pretty sure there’s not even niche porn for it. And there is niche porn for frikkin’ everything, people.

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The Hamamatsu-based manufacturer, Sakae, says the idea for the totally bizarre design came from the company president’s own experiences at marathon running events. Supposedly, to save on time (presumably during the race) male runners will sometimes just do their business while waiting in line to use a standard port-o-potty. The company president thought this was surely offensive to female runners and imagined there must be a better way to make peeing quicker and easier.

As photos illustrate, the design consists of four walls arranged in a cross shape with one of those classy little-boy-peeing statues on top. The statue is supposedly to break up the line of sight so you’re not staring intimately into another man’s eyes while you go, but it frankly looks too small to us to accomplish that, plus it introduces a whole new problem of two out of four people using the device then having to stare at a little boy’s penis or naked ass instead.

Ingeniously, the design works in such a way that the men’s dangly bits are naturally concealed, so you can set up the system just about any old place outdoors. A tank underneath the apparatus holds approximately 1,000 pees worth of urine, though what you’re supposed to do with 1,000 people’s urine when it fills up is a mystery we’d rather not think too deeply about.

Finally, topping off the incredible weirdness of the design is the fact that it’s called the “LOVE & PEEEE!” Just like that; all caps, extra letters, exclamation point and all.

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Source: Asahi Shinbun
Photos: LOVE and PEEEE! official Facebook page