In Japan, learning English is a valuable tool in the business world. Being able to negotiate deals and win customers overseas would make you an attractive asset to any corporation. To truly get ahead, however, you’re going to want to speak like a titan of industry, and there’s perhaps no better titan to emulate than Darth Vader.

No one has ever moved up the corporate ladder faster, and talk about falling upwards! Darth Vader fell limbless into a pit of lava and landed right in a cushy gig as Lord of the Galactic Empire. Clearly this is a guy who gets what he wants.

Now Japanese and English learners can acquire his galaxy controlling gift of gab with the new Star Wars dictionary and phrase book. Let’s take a look at some sample pages.

Of course the bread and butter of Vader-speak is ordering people around. However, the Lord Vader’s English Phrases section of this dictionary makes sure you know the difference between your ordering phrases and phrases of remonstration.

Man, I wish I was in a position to order people to be taken away… Anyway, simple orders alone won’t get you far in any organization. You have to learn to persuade people as well as showing initiative yourself, particularly in cases involving rebel scum.

Even simple things like saying “yes” are covered in this tome. Responding affirmatively with a simple “yeah” or “uhuh” might get you as far as eating frogs and smoking a hookah in some dirty palace on Tatooine surrounded by green pig monsters and bikini slaves. However, if you really want to be taken seriously, take the time to say “yes” the right way: with both a subject and a verb.

Vader may be a hardass, but he knows his place in his organization. When the time for brown-nosing is nigh, he is all too quick with a “What is thy bidding my master?” Knowing this, he also occasionally sprinkles his subordinates with praise when they’re not being colossal disappointments who can’t shoot worth a damn. So next time your intern successfully changes the toner, be sure to say “You have learned much young one.”

However, giving kind words all the time will only result in your storm troopers walking all over you. It’s important to remind them every once in a while that you can choke them with your mind and that we all inexplicably work under a murderous madman who shoots lightning.

The Personal English Japanese English Star Wars Dictionary comes in two versions: Darth Vader and Stormtrooper. According to their Amazon pages (on which they are currently sold out) the contents are the same. Because of this we’ll teach you all you need to know to speak Stormtrooper in Japanese:

1 – Arrrrgggghhh!
アァァァーッ！

Still, it’s a unique and fun language study tool for only 3,132 yen (US$30). You didn’t take my advice before to buy the Hello Kitty Dictionary. If you fail me this time, IT WILL BE YOUR LAST!

Because I won’t write about dictionaries any more.

Source: Japan Star Wars, Gakken (Japanese) via Kotaku (English)
Images: Amazon 1, 2