Oh, North Korea. Whether you’re hanging out with American “diplomats” or testing your rockets by firing them over your neighbors’ airspace, you never cease to amaze us with your incredible antics.

While Korea’s grumpy northern half can do very little when the rest of the world criticizes its behavior, “justice” will be swift for those who support dissenting opinions within the country. But in order to mask the removal of high-ranking North Korean officers as something other than Kim Jong Un flexing his supreme leader powers, the North Korean media has recently released “reasons” that could only be acceptable there.

Recently, North Korea has been purging its top brass in some pretty brash ways. You may have heard about the officials who were removed just this week for reasons such as bribery, womanizing, and, um, watching TV soap operas. But the story that takes the cake is about a high-ranking officer who was removed because he decided to take a karaoke session to a new level.

Come to North Korea! Or wait…don’t. Stay out. 

n korea 1Image: Flickr (InSapphoWeTrust)

State officials confirmed that said bureaucrat was executed because his new lyrics for the song “We are Socialism” came from his rebellious heart and showed signs of dissent. What were these insubordinate lyrical liberties? Nothing could be worse than changing “Pour Some Sugar On Me” to “Pour Some Shook Up Ramen”, right?

This unnamed political leader allegedly took the lyric, “thanks to our party” and changed the pronoun to, “thanks to your party”. OK, that’s not so bad. A slight shift in meaning, sure, but that doesn’t seem like a “firing squad” kind of blunder. But wait, there’s more. The politician apparently also twisted “Hate your enemies, love your country,” to become “Hate your wife, love your mistress.” Uh-oh. We’ve definitely crossed into some racier territory here. You would think, though, that a few risqué lyric changes during a private karaoke session would results in boos rather than bullets, right?

Unfortunately for this representative of the Worker’s Party, and everyone else living there, Supreme Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, Kim Jong Un, doesn’t take defiance lightly, and the wayward warbler was quickly put to death by firing squad.

Make sure you study up on your state songs, people; you don’t want to risk making those lyrics up as you go along.

Sing the words as written, nothing more!

Source: Hachima Kiko
Top Image: Flickr (Derek Gavey)