North Korea’s supreme leader gifts his soldier with a case of the scoots: the gift that keeps on giving.

On December 26th Malaysia’s Chinese language newspaper Kwong Wah Daily reported that border guards and other soldiers in the North Korean armed forces suffered a nasty case of mass diarrhea.

Apparently the cause of the widespread trots was a shipment of uncooked Japanese sandfish delivered to them at the request of Kim Jong-un himself. Reports claim that during the meal soldiers found sand in their soup and detected an unusual smell emanating from the fish.

▼ Japanese sandfish are known to inhabit the seas off the Eastern coast of Korea

Of course, the fact that this all occurred over the Christmas holidays was completely coincidental lest anyone think Kim Jong-un heard all the whos in Whoville singing and felt his heart grow three times larger.

The meal that gave new meaning to “run for the border” was said to be a part of a previous mandate set by Jong-un. According to some reports, the region near the northern border had been hit by a flood and lost many of its crops. In an effort to maintain morale, he ordered that the soldiers in the area be given better food so that they wouldn’t get jealous of the nearby Chinese soldiers.

Meanwhile, the government fisheries are also suspected of having a large surplus of regional fish such as the Japanese sandfish due to the difficulty of exporting under UN sanctions. Given all this, it is not unreasonable to assume that somewhere along the chain of command, someone decided to kill two birds with one stone and gave the soldiers some sloppy seconds of sandfish.

As perhaps a bright side to this ordeal, if but for a brief period of time, North Korea could have boasted some of the most well guarded toilets in the world.

Source: Record China via Toychan (Japanese)
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