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Ah, childbirth. That lovely moment when the child you’ve been waiting to meet for months finally comes into the world and brings with it all the joys that come with parenthood. If you’re a woman, that moment also equates to the feeling of your body being ripped into bits as you forcefully expel a new human being from your body. (Sorry if you’re drinking your morning tea as you read this!)

Like the rest of the female population around the world, Japanese women are no strangers to the pains of birthing a child. Below, we have gathered eleven of amusing anecdotes that have been shared over social media relating to their pregnancies, the hysterical states they were in during childbirth, and the time after their child’s birth. And don’t miss the one story at the end that will positively melt your heart.

https://twitter.com/maruco03/status/587984451914698753

“From my pregnancy journal (´-`) My stomach is heaving like that scene in Alien. [Note: The first panel is her at five months pregnant, giggling when the baby starts moving around. The second panel is her at the present, and she is considerably less thrilled.]“

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https://twitter.com/tontonmasaton1/status/599603003822215168

“I most recently embarrassed myself while giving birth, after I had become delirious from the labor pains. When a midwife told me, ‘That’s right, your breathing is great!’ I yelled, ‘Praise me more!!’, and the four or so midwives in the room unanimously shouted ‘Wow!’, ‘I can’t believe this is your first childbirth!’; they kept dropping compliments for the remainder of the birth.”

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“This is a bit random, but today marks my third month of being pregnant. In the morning I told my husband, ‘Our family is about to get bigger,’ and he replied, ‘What’s it gonna be? Send me a picture later,’ and left for work. Umm, we’re not talking about a cat here…”

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“I had my firstborn at a maternity hospital. I ate my placenta there and decided to make it into a manga. [Note: She eats it with wasabi and soy sauce and says that it’s delicious, tasting something like liver. Her husband also agrees.]“

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“At parties to celebrate the birth of a new child, I always make a point of giving a present to the oldest child. Just recently I gave a present to my friend’s daughter, saying, ‘It’s to celebrate you becoming a big sister,’ and she started crying. She was being really patient, and she would have to be more patient from then on. I know since I was also a big sister myself.”

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“When my older sister was giving birth, she couldn’t take the pain and started screaming, ‘Owwwww! Why does it have to come out from there!?’ and the nurse told her, ‘Well of course it’s gonna come out the same place you put it in!!'”

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“Speaking of things that happen while giving birth, I can never forget when the midwife said, ‘Look Mom, you can see the head now. Don’t worry because there’s a ton of hair.'”

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“The fortune that I pulled today says that giving birth is going to be terrible.

Fortune [giving birth section]: It’s going to come out little by little by little…”

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“I was fairly calm during my labor pains, but right after giving birth the midwife said, ‘Mom! Look, it’s your baby! He says nice to meet you~!!’ and she showed me my baby. Then I said, ‘Nice to meet you. If there’s anything you don’t understand, please ask me’ in a really businesslike tone. I turned back into my normal self when I saw the doctor burst into laughter.”

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https://twitter.com/reireidog/status/206889142678847490

“It seems like a lot of women don’t remember the crazy things they say during labor pains, but I remember everything that I said to my husband very clearly. In particular, I shouted this: ‘Tell me the names of some delicious sherbet flavors! As many as you can! If you can’t think of any, look them up on your iPhone! Hurry up, hurry up! Sherbet urghhhh…'”

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“My wife is pregnant. When I saw her sitting on the sofa and stroking her belly, I just wanted to say something, so I went up and gave her a hug from behind and said ‘I love you.’ My wife is deaf. She can’t hear anything. She’s not supposed to hear anything. But then she turned around and signed ‘I love you, too.’ I think I can keep working hard.”

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Parents: Do you have any stories of your own to add? We hope these stories haven’t lessened anyone’s desire to have children!

Source: CuRAZY
Top image: Twitter (@maruco03)