It’s not every day that an enormous blonde-haired bear of a man comes to your school, agrees to play a quick game of rugby with you and then proceeds to knock you on your 10-year-old arse rather than let you win the ball.
But then, it’s not every day that London mayor Boris Johnson is visiting Japan…
“Hey, your mayor’s in Japan!” an American friend of mine said to me via Facebook message earlier this week.
“I’m not from London, and that man is nothing to do with me, I promise you,” I replied, awaiting something awful.
“Whatever. Here he is speaking Japanese lol.”
After retrieving my eyeballs from deep inside my skull following a cringe so violent I thought I might never see again, I got to wondering what ol’ Boris, the London mayor whose gaffes routinely make the headlines in my homeland, would get up to during his four-day sojourn in Japan.
“He’s probably going to be in meetings all day;” I told to myself as I read more about the purpose of Boris’ visit, “what harm could he possibly do?”
Well…
It turns out that, what with the two nations I have at various points in my life called home currently buzzing about the Rugby World Cup and Japan’s dazzling display on the pitch, London’s lovable/lunatic mayor agreed to take part in a small “street rugby” tournament a group of elementary school kids were having earlier today.
Little did the children, know, however, that the mayor was quite the experienced sportsman and, in true British style and wanting to ensure that the kids grew up knowing that life is awful and full of hardships, resolved to knock one 10-year-old boy to the ground rather than lose the ball in front of parents and reporters.
The boy, named in reports as one Toki Sekiguchi, was seemingly unhurt following the tackle and, once he’d put his little cap back on his head, was quick to dust himself off. All the same, I have a feeling any foreign language teachers visiting Toki’s school from now on are going to have a heck of a job coaxing any English out of him…
▼ “Yes! I am king! Soon I will rule all of Great Britain!”
▼ “Haha, Mr Boris. I’m going tackle you!”
▼ “I don’t think so, son…”
Cringe…
H/T Twitter/Mashable
Featured/insert images: YouTube/Inferno Productions
Highest Starbucks in Japan set to open this spring in the Tokyo sky
Yakuzen ramen restaurant in Tokyo is very different to a yakuza ramen restaurant
Hey, 2020s kids! The ’90s have a sticker picture message waiting for you in Tokyo
Tokyo Skytree turns pink for the cherry blossom season
Skyscraper sized Pokémon cards to appear in Tokyo all year long in Tocho projection mapping event
Highest Starbucks in Japan set to open this spring in the Tokyo sky
Yakuzen ramen restaurant in Tokyo is very different to a yakuza ramen restaurant
Hey, 2020s kids! The ’90s have a sticker picture message waiting for you in Tokyo
Tokyo Skytree turns pink for the cherry blossom season
Skyscraper sized Pokémon cards to appear in Tokyo all year long in Tocho projection mapping event
The 10 most annoying things foreign tourists do on Japanese trains, according to locals
Transparent coffee! We taste-test Asahi’s Clear Latte, marvel at Japanese drinks wizardry
Tokyo Station’s perfect breakfast spot might just be this izakaya Japanese-style pub
Japanese potato chip Rubik’s Cubes coming soon
New Japanese dictionary acknowledges that otaku aren’t “lacking common social intelligence”
Starbucks Japan releases new sakura goods and drinkware for cherry blossom season 2026
Naruto and Converse team up for new line of shinobi sneakers[Photos]
Is Sapporio’s Snow Festival awesome enough to be worth visiting even if you hate the snow? [Pics]
Japan has trams that say “sorry” while they ride around town…but why?
Sakura Totoro is here to get spring started early with adorable pouches and plushies
Starbucks Japan unveils new sakura Frappuccino for cherry blossom season 2026
Poop is in full bloom at the Unko Museums for cherry blossom season
Now is the time to visit one of Tokyo’s best off-the-beaten-path plum blossom gardens
Playing Switch 2 games with just one hand is possible thanks to Japanese peripheral maker
Japan’s newest Shinkansen has no seats…or passengers [Video]
Foreigners accounting for over 80 percent of off-course skiers needing rescue in Japan’s Hokkaido
Super-salty pizza sends six kids to the hospital in Japan, linguistics blamed
Foreign tourists in Japan will get free Shinkansen tickets to promote regional tourism
Take a trip to Japan’s Dododo Land, the most irritating place on Earth
Archfiend Hello Kitty appears as Sanrio launches new team-up with Yu-Gi-Oh【Pics】
Survey asks foreign tourists what bothered them in Japan, more than half gave same answer
Japan’s human washing machines will go on sale to general public, demos to be held in Tokyo
Starbucks Japan releases new drinkware and goods for Valentine’s Day
We deeply regret going into this tunnel on our walk in the mountains of Japan
Studio Ghibli releases Kodama forest spirits from Princess Mononoke to light up your home
Major Japanese hotel chain says reservations via overseas booking sites may not be valid
Put sesame oil in your coffee? Japanese maker says it’s the best way to start your day【Taste test】
No more using real katana for tourism activities, Japan’s National Police Agency says
The 10 most annoying things foreign tourists do on Japanese trains, according to locals
Transparent coffee! We taste-test Asahi’s Clear Latte, marvel at Japanese drinks wizardry
Tokyo Station’s perfect breakfast spot might just be this izakaya Japanese-style pub
Japanese potato chip Rubik’s Cubes coming soon
New Japanese dictionary acknowledges that otaku aren’t “lacking common social intelligence”
Starbucks celebrates Halloween with new Frappuccino, tea and drinkware in Japan
Nintendo releases Metroid-shaped ice cube/cooking tray and Samus arm cannon pillow【Pics】
Saitama is home to the best strawberries in Japan that you’ve probably never even heard of
Stars of Japan’s longest-running anime get gorgeous modern makeover in new video【Video】
Japan’s famous Suica Penguin JR train pass card mascot is “graduating”/being laid off
Let’s try all the melon bread types sold by Japanese convenience store Family Mart【Taste test】
New Kyoto crane game cakes are poised to become the next big thing in Japan
We tried six Japanese burger chains’ coffee to test the state of fast food coffee in Japan[Taste test]