Perhaps we’ve overestimated humanity’s naked anime enemies.
Often, there’s a surprisingly fine line between scary and goofy monster design. For example, the titular kaiju in Japan’s upcoming Shin Godzilla movie has terrifying jagged teeth and a body that seems to be ominously on the verge of melting from radiation. But at the same time, he also has eyes that wouldn’t look entirely out of place on a googly-eyed stuffed animal, and his tail is so long that it’s all too easy to imagine him throwing up his hands in frustration after he trips over it for the fifth time that day while trying to destroy Tokyo.
Likewise, there isn’t a definite answer to the question of “Are the man-eating giants from Attack on Titan horrifying or hilarious?” Sure, attempt to devour just about every human they come across in the hit anime and manga, but the way their facial expressions so rarely change makes it seem as though they never quite grasp what’s going on around them, and their constant lack of pants makes it clear that, physically powerful as they may be, they lack the mental facilities to figure out how button or zipper flies work.
In other words, the Titans aren’t just great antagonists, but also have a surprisingly deep potential for comedy. It all depends on how you look at them, and here with a fresh perspective is Japanese Twitter user Yun.
USJの進撃の巨人エリアにいる、壁の巨人がどんな感じで収まっているのか気になって眠れそうもありません。 pic.twitter.com/iYYIEtRQYr
— ハマドゥ (@4rnyn) April 22, 2016
It’s not clear whether Yun made the trip to Universal Studios Japan’s Attack on Titan attraction himself or whether he saw a picture someone else had posted of a Titan on the verge of bursting through a defensive wall. In either case, he couldn’t stop thinking about what kind of pose the Titan is in, or what proportions it has, for its head to be peeking through the crack like it does.
It turns out most of the possibilities really aren’t all that intimidating.
It might not be readily apparent, but when you really stop and consider the size of the Titan’s head relative to its height above the ground, unless he’s standing in some type of ditch that dips down beneath the surface of where the photographer is standing, the monster quite likely has a short, stubby body. Once Yun got the ball rolling, many other Twitter users offered their own theories on what’s being hidden from view by the wall, which Yun then illustrated and shared.
▼ He’s like the world’s ugliest Pokémon.
新たに、一頭身というご意見も頂きました。
— ハマドゥ (@4rnyn) April 24, 2016
ありがとうございます。こういう事でしょうか?
ただ…正直、ないかな…と思います。すみません。 pic.twitter.com/VIuO7nOkmp
二等身というご意見を頂きました。
— ハマドゥ (@4rnyn) April 24, 2016
ありがとうございます。ぶっちぬきで、こわいです。 pic.twitter.com/h8yPpn7Xl7
▼ And now we know what an Attack on Titan/Monster, Inc. crossover would look like.
@Konrooooo とても虫っぽいですね。キライではないです。むしろ、好きです。
— ハマドゥ (@4rnyn) April 24, 2016
ただ膝カックンで倒した後に谷まで蹴とばせば、簡単に駆逐できそうなのはよろしくないと思います。 pic.twitter.com/jxtr60pTRW
And even if the Titan does have proportions more in line with a normal, adult human, it could still be looking pretty silly.
▼ “Hey, watcha doin’?”
@SNOW0511 乙女な感じですね。素敵だと思います。 pic.twitter.com/KGwsTEyPCW
— ハマドゥ (@4rnyn) April 24, 2016
But if you can’t bear the thought of this mighty Titans suddenly being nothing more than comic relief, rest assured that there’s also a chance that it’s just crouched down in an Armored Titan-style sprinter’s stance, and is ready to smash through the barrier with a burst of speed.
@136al スタートした瞬間に潰される未来が見えました。 pic.twitter.com/TJGCHpry50
— ハマドゥ (@4rnyn) April 24, 2016
Or, if that’s not scary enough, there’s always this possibility.
@2000yuuuu まず巨人の定義とはいったい何なのかなど色々と新たな疑問ができますが、ありえなくも…な……ありえないと思います。
— ハマドゥ (@4rnyn) April 24, 2016
折角のご意見を否定してしまい、申し訳ありません。 pic.twitter.com/zYdipFil34
Sure, that’s sort of funny-looking, but when you take into consideration that the Titans’ only weak spot is at the base of their neck, being a disembodied head means that this one is essentially indestructible.
Source: Togech, Twitter/@4rnyn

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