Other titles include: “How to Be a Terrible Leader for Dummies” and “431 Quotes to Lose All Your Friends.”

North Korea and Japan are not currently on the best terms, with North Korea having shot not just one but two missiles over Japan during the past few weeks. Still, that hasn’t stopped North Korean travel agencies from trying to awkwardly entice Japanese tourists to come visit.

But why visit North Korea? What can you even get there? Well, apparently a Japanese translation of Kim Jong-un’s “little red book” of quotes, for starters.

Japanese news agency FNN News recently got ahold of one of these rare books, whose Japanese translation is only for sale in Pyongyang for 500 yen (US$4.50). Here’s what it looks like:

▼ A small, thin red book simply titled “Kim Jong-un Wise Sayings.”
The “1” underneath implies there may be sequels, which is, uh, good news for fans?

The book is of course reminiscent of Mao Zedong’s Little Red Book, a collection of 267 quotes from the Chinese leader divided into into 25 topics.

Not to be outdone, Kim Jong-un’s “little red book” is also divided into different subjects such as politics, military, and citizens, and contains a whopping 431 quotes. Some of them provide insight into the head of Kim Jong-un, while others are pretty out there. Here’s a sampling:

“Time is on our side, and justice is on our side, so we will surely be victorious.”

I mean, literally everyone thinks justice is on their side, so I get that. But where does he get time from? Did he buy a bunch of clocks and set them up in his room to be perfectly synchronized? I could totally see that as a North Korean way of saying they’ve “conquered time.”

“If your military force is weak, then you cannot protect your autonomy and right to life. You will be tormented and preyed upon by the imperialists.”

This is actually a pretty important quote to show why North Korea constantly plays the dangerous game of shooting missiles and then claiming “you can’t be mad because I’m not actually hitting you!” They do it because they feel they need to be seen as a threat to be taken seriously.

“Scientists and engineers are the country’s precious treasure. They are the pioneers of the era to speed up the establishment of a mighty nation.”

Well, that’s kind of true… but it’s preferred when the scientists and engineers aren’t focusing all of their energy on making bombs, ya know?

“You should have your citizens sit upon a golden cushion.”

This quote means that citizens should be provided with an ideal lifestyle, that they should not have to struggle for it themselves. It would be pretty laughable, considering it’s essentially the opposite of North Korea, if it just weren’t so sad.

“When people’s eyes become lost in money they betray their country and countrymen without hesitation.”

Guess that means you better take away everyone’s money all the time forever then?

“An egg full of ideals can break stone.”

Not only does this one not make any sense, but it also attempts to provide justification for filling your head with terrible ideology. Kim Jong-un is basically telling his people if they believe really hard, then they can smash rocks with their egg-bodies. There’s only one problem with that, and it involves rocks not budging or caring at all no matter how many “ideal-filled” eggs are smashed against them.

“People smile with their eyes, and speak with their eyes.

Another confusing one, but this one has darker undertones. It’s essentially a warning to the North Korean people that even if they don’t say out loud anything against the state, they can still give themselves away with their eyes. So they need to completely and voluntarily brainwash themselves to be safe.

Not sure what to think about reading those? Neither were Japanese netizens. Here’s how they reacted:

“I wouldn’t want that book if they paid me 500 yen to take it.”
“Those are some pretty ruthless quotes.”
“Does anyone have any idea what he’s talking about?”
“Wow, that’s more than enough quotes to make a daily calendar with!”
“Wonder if I can find a used one at BookOff?”

Good luck with that, netizen. And if you do manage to find one for yourself, be sure to pick up a one-piece romper suit of Kim Jong-un’s face to wear while you read it.

Source: Yahoo! News Japan/Fuji News Network via Golden Times
Featured image: Twitter/@huruya2100