It’s a strange state of affairs when a public TV station is treated in the same way as mosquitoes or demons.

It’s the reason a majority of Japanese people refuse to answer their doors: the terrifying thought that on the other side is a person collecting subscription contracts for the public channel NHK. Sure, it doesn’t sound so bad, but these outsourced mercs will stop at nothing to get you to sign on the dotted line regardless of whether or not you watch NHK or even own a television.

Like an army of soul-reaping wraiths, these heartless minions prowl the land with impunity. Also a recent Supreme Court ruling that anyone with a television is legally bound to pay the subscription fee has emboldened them even further.

Luckily there exists a talisman to protect yourself from those dark forces in these bleak times: Behold the Seal of Tachibana!

This sticker was created by Takashi Tachibana, leader of the Protect the Nation from NHK Party, a political party with the sole purpose of ending this reign of terror. Like a modern day folk hero, Tachibana has taken on the mission whole-heartedly for a number of years.

But this latest tool might have people wondering, “How’s a mere sticker going to repel these ruthless collectors?”

According to Tachibana, NHK collectors have been advised to not approach any home that has a sticker from his Protect the Nation from NHK Party because its inhabitants may be “problematic.” And so, if your house is identified as such, then the malevolent spirits of public access will simply pass over your home.

The sticker reads:

Protect the Nation from NHK Party – Takashi Tachibana
NHK Repelling Seal
Affix this sticker to the entrance of your home and NHK visits will completely stop. But in the case the visits continue please contact the number provided below and NHK will definitely be chased off.
Takashi Tachibana – 090-3350-0267

Judging by reader comments many people already have them, but some are concerned that it kind of makes them look like cheapskates.

“I got one from someone handing them out in the street.”
“It might help to just name drop Takashi Tachibana too. Say you know him if you’re cornered.”
“I already have one on my home.”
“I would get one but I’m afraid of what my neighbors might think.”
“It’s like sticking a yakuza symbol on your property.”
“Sure they’ve worked until now, but NHK has gotten a lot stronger recently.”

In theory it does makes sense. People opposed to NHK collectors enough to pledge their allegiance to the Protect the Nation from NHK Party are likely they argumentative types who will likely fight tooth and nail with the collector, eating up valuable time that could be spent knocking on doors of weaker prey. So in order to maintain peak efficiency it would be advisable to avoid such people.

On the other hand, much like insect repellent, the more these stickers are used, surely the more immune NHK will become to them. But at least for now it doesn’t hurt to try, and no payment is necessary: they’re a free public service of the Protect the Nation from NHK Party.

It’s worth a shot, and considering these NHK guys are sometimes up to more than just collecting fees, it could help keep you safe too.

To receive your NHK Repelling Sticker send a request along with your name and address to:

Source: Protect the Nation from NHK Party, Buzz Plus News, Itai News
Top image: YouTube/Takashi Tachibana