Gotta change clothes fast!

We don’t mean to brag, but we’re much-loved here at SoraNews24. Sure, we might not be the most popular guys with the ladies, or even the local police, but you know who does love us? Fictional video game characters from the 16-bit era, apparently.

Christmas came early to SoraNews24 headquarters this week as our Japanese-language reporter P.K. Sanjun was the first one to arrive at the office and discovered that we’d been sent some presents by none other than Sonic the Hedgehog!

Unfolding the card revealed an image of the thankfully redesigned Sonic from his upcoming live-action movie, wishing us a “Merry Sonichristmas.”

But what could the blue blur have sent us? Maybe five golden rings, in a Christmas carol allusion to his franchise’s most prominent power-ups? A pack of free chili dog coupons? A handwritten apology for Sonic the Hedgehog ‘06?

Nope. Instead we got…

…arguably the ugliest Christmas sweater ever.

Okay, so maybe you could argue it’s technically a sweatshirt. Either way, though, the garment’s unfashionableness was so aggressive that it produced a violent reaction from P.K., who quickly threw it to the ground.

▼ “Noooooooo!”

Granted, it could have been worse. They could have gone with Sonic’s terrifyingly repulsive original movie-trailer design, the one before he was mercifully re-rendered. But while P.K. is OK with the new Sonic being seen on the screen, he’s not as enthusiastic about the Sega star being seen on his chest.

But they say one man’s trash is another’s treasure, and soon enough fellow reporter Seiji Nakazawa starting poking around the sweater litter that P.K. had left on the floor. “Hey, P.K., you want this?” he asked, and after P.K. furiously shook his head, Seiji said “Cool. I’ll take it then.”

As a matter of fact, Seiji was so OK with the design that he was even happy to take some of the socks which had also been in the package.

Oh, and if you think that maybe things are less busy on the back of the sweater, think again, because peering out at everyone behind is Dr. Robotnik, in his portrayed-by-Jim Carrey incarnation.

It turned out, though, that we’d been sent two sets of socks and sweaters, and after seeing Seiji strutting around the office in his new duds, our boss and owner, Yoshio, decided this was a look he was keen to copy.

“Nothing at all dorky about this design!” Yoshio said, a declaration that was met with the exact amount of palpable silence you’d expect when the senior staff member in a company makes such a bold yet highly debatable fashion statement.

But hey, if Seiji and Yoshio were going to take the sweaters off P.K.’s hands that was fine by him. “Do you want the socks too, Boss?” he asked.

“Naw, not my style,” Yoshio replied, proving once again that SoraNews24’s owner is a man of incomprehensible fashion sense.

Photos ©SoraNews24
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[ Read in Japanese ]