When I was a kid, there was a period of about a week in school when everyone became obsessed with making “jokes” using “What’s the definition of…?” set-ups.
As well as failing to make anyone laugh, they rarely made much sense and were always both immensely long-winded and contrived…
Allow me to share an example:
“What’s the definition of ’cheeky’? Throwing a brick through someone’s window, then knocking on the door and asking for it back!”
Oh my sides….
Thankfully, though, a 16-year-old in Wakayama prefecture, Japan has done us all a favour and made an example of himself, putting an end to the eternal mystery “what’s the definition of ‘stupidity’?”
On October 2, the unemployed youth allegedly strode into one of his local convenience stores (a 7-Eleven, no doubt…), and helped himself to a cup noodle, costing exactly 248 yen (about three US dollars).
Ignoring the fact that the item he stole probably had the least nutritional value of all the food in the store, it seems that our master criminal had entirely forgotten that he would require one more vital ingredient in order enjoy his stolen snack- hot water.
Just minutes after stealing the noodles, the young man returned to the very same convenience store and proceeded to help himself to hot water from one of the large thermos flasks positioned near the register for (non-thieving) customers use.
After filling up his cup of rāmen noodles, the young man then sat outside the convenience store and leisurely enjoyed his evening meal.
The convenience store owner, having suspected that he had stolen the noodles earlier, managed to detain the youth until the police arrived, at which point the boy was probably slapped across the back of the head and given the award for worst criminal ever…
Stupid crime does not pay, kids..
Source: Yomiuri Online

Japan’s new no-topping cup ramen is super simple, sort of cheap, and kind of depressing
Eating every kind of cold noodle dish from Family Mart to stave off the summer heat【Taste test】
7-Eleven Japan’s ramen-cooking robot whipped us up a bowl of noodles【Taste test】
Pizza Hut Japan’s hot lucky bags are perfect for a New Year’s pizza party
Cup Noodle tries an authentic Jiro-style ramen, but something’s not quite right
Hayao Miyazaki says Happy New Year to Studio Ghibli fans with new art for Year of the Horse
New form of luxurious poverty arrives at Japanese convenience stores with Tenkasu Gohan
Combining all of Nissin’s new Cup Noodle series into one powerful bowl of ramen
That time Seiji called JASRAC to ask why he didn’t get paid royalties for his song being on TV
The 21st century Game Boy we wish Nintendo were working on【Pics】
We visit the full-scale Evangelion statue in Kyoto and particularly delight in the food tie-ins
Is it rude to sing along at concerts in Japan? We ask a pro musician for his take
Harajuku’s new permanent Tamagotchi shop is filled with cuteness and a surprising lack of poop
Starbucks Japan ready to get Year of the Horse started with adorable drinkware and plushies【Pics】
7 great places to see Mt. Fuji from without having to climb it
Cyberpunk anime meets traditional culture in Ghost in the Shell gold leaf Japanese changing screens
Hello Kitty Choco Egg figures are an adorable trip through three periods of Japanese pop culture【Pics】
We found possibly the quietest Japanese-style hotel in Tokyo’s bustling Shinjuku district
7-Eleven Japan’s ramen-cooking robot whipped us up a bowl of noodles【Taste test】
Sumo Sanrio! Hello Kitty and pals team up with Japan Sumo Association for new merch【Pics】
Japan’s oldest largetooth sawfish in captivity back on display in Mie Prefecture
More Than a Capsule Stay: Why Solo Travelers Choose “global cabin Yokohama Chinatown”
7-Eleven Japan starts new temporary luggage storage service in over 300 branches
Disillusionment at Tsukiji’s tourist-target prices led us to a great ramen restaurant in Tokyo
Starbucks teams up with 166-year-old Kyoto doll maker for Year of the Horse decorations【Photos】
Tokyo considering law requiring more trash cans following litter increase in heavily touristed area
Tokyo’s Tsukiji sushi neighborhood asks tour groups to stay away for the rest of the month
Tokyo event lets you travel back in time, for free, to celebrate 100 years since Showa era start
Sanrio theme park in Japan announces plans to expand into a Sanrio resort
Japan may add Japanese language proficiency, lifestyle classes to permanent foreign resident requirements
Stamina-destroying “Paralysis Noodles” are Tokyo’s newest over-the-top ramen innovation
Survey asks foreign tourists what bothered them in Japan, more than half gave same answer
Japan’s human washing machines will go on sale to general public, demos to be held in Tokyo
Japan’s deadliest food claims more victims, but why do people keep eating it for New Year’s?
We deeply regret going into this tunnel on our walk in the mountains of Japan
Studio Ghibli releases Kodama forest spirits from Princess Mononoke to light up your home
Major Japanese hotel chain says reservations via overseas booking sites may not be valid
Put sesame oil in your coffee? Japanese maker says it’s the best way to start your day【Taste test】
No more using real katana for tourism activities, Japan’s National Police Agency says
Starbucks Japan reveals new sakura drinkware collection, inspired by evening cherry blossoms
Updated cherry blossom forecast shows extra-long sakura season for Japan this year
Leave a Reply