japan agencies 5

Need a friend? Need someone to complain to? Need family? Service agencies for all your needs, seven days a week! If you’ve got money to spare and want to avoid some simple interactions, there are plenty of places that will attend to all your social needs.

There are numerous agencies popping up around Japan that offer all kinds of services to facilitate an easier life. Wonder what you can have other people do for you? Let’s jump right into it.

  • Apologizing Agency

One of the first agencies you can pay for is the apologizing agency, which we’ve shared with you before. Essentially, if you are in a situation where you have a hard time saying “sorry” and “my bad”, or when you’re too embarrassed or angry to say it yourself, you can hire someone to do it for you! Crying may or may not be included. Face-to-face apologies cost a heap more.

japan agencies 1Image: Flickr (Marina Caprara)

Perhaps the wronged party will deeply feel your apology because you were willing to fork over some cash to do it! Or, in all likelihood they will be even more offended by the impersonal nature of the apology. Clearly, it’s the sort of service you hire when you need to apologize but still feel like you are in the right. So while you are asking someone to apologize for you, you can get someone else to…

  • Listen to you complain!

Maybe what you did was so egregious that all of your friends and family members are totally offended by it. You have your reasons though, and unfortunately you have no one who will listen to you complain. Why not hire someone totally random who will never have any association with the people you know? The people hired are the types of people who will listen happily and take your side on everything you have to complain about. Rates appear to be hourly.

japan agencies 4Image: Flickr (Umberto Salvagnin)

  • Confession Agency

The next of these agencies is probably filling a desperate need for all the Japanese manga and anime characters. Instead of spending dozens of chapters, or episodes, going back and forth and losing endless opportunities blushing and stuttering over three simple words, let’s just get a confession agency to do it for you!

▼“Sato-san likes you” Well that was easy!

love-letter-14Images: Nico Nico Video

For some of these agencies, you can even work together with one of the staff to determine the best confession for the situation. The hired-help will anonymously confess for you as well. That way there’s no doubt about who likes who. Of course, you might lose the memories of confessing to the person of your dreams, but…at least it is actually going to happen now!

  • Family Agency

For all the busy workers out there, here’s a nice agency for you: the family agency. This is perfect for those busy working mothers and fathers who have to spend all their time at their job and can’t make it home for dinner time, play time or anytime. Never again will your child be left alone with life decisions without the helpful advice of pseudo-mom and pseudo-dad. These rent-a-parents will even go to school events and community meetings in your place. Wait a second; you can hire people to attend those boring PTA meetings for you? For that alone it could be well worth it.

japan agencies 3Image: Flickr (James Vaughan)

▼“Family Agencies” and “Filial Piety Agencies”, those things sound bad but, from now on, I think it’s becoming natural for people to seek them out.

https://twitter.com/hyamhyam/status/29717963066056705

Other agencies with accommodating services include:

  • Marriage Agency

It’s not exactly what you think. What if someone suddenly can’t attend your wedding day and everything will be ruined if the two families don’t have an even number. No need to panic because you can hire someone to fill in as your friend/family!

  • Grave Visiting Agency

Cleaning, sweeping, pulling the grass and offering new flowers and incense are just the beginning of what this agency can do for you. They’ll even tell you about what they did after the visit; it’s almost as if you’d been there yourself.

  • Homework Agency

You probably can’t understand your kid’s homework anyway. Hire someone to do it for you! Maybe this is a more cost-effective solution than hiring someone to be their parent…

  • Friend Agency

These people will go to all your favorite places with you! The service guarantees that when you finish your day of fun together, you’ll actually become real friends! (And then these new friends won’t want to hang out with you, just like your old friends! So you’ll have to hire someone new…fooled again!)

There seems to be a service for everything money can buy, which is exactly what some fear about the increasing popularity of these agencies. Everything about “you” is taken out of the equation and people not involved with your life in any capacity are doing these important things for you. Plus, looking through this list, it seems like many of these duties can be fulfilled by professionals, like a therapist or a nanny.

However, if you’ve got the money, and these services sound like something you require, you better get yourself to Japan. Good thing there is a moving service agency just for that!

Source: Matome Naver
Top Image: Flickr (Michael Pujals)