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American film studio The Asylum is the “creative” team behind some of the movies with the closest names ever to blockbuster hits. The company’s catalogue features standouts such as Snakes on a Train, The Da Vinci Treasure, Transmorphers, The Day the Earth Stopped, and, in perhaps its greatest feat of coming as close as possible to just outright copying another movie’s title, The Terminators.

There’s a point at which imitation gets to be so blatant it stops being flattering, and ordinarily we’d be appalled at The Asylum’s lack of artistic integrity. We’ll give the studio a pass this time, though, since it’s about to give us an unofficial crossover as compelling as Mega Shark fighting an obvious copy of an Attack on Titan giant.

The Asylum’s biggest hit to date is 2013’s Sharknado, but that’s not its only film dealing with the fierce saltwater predators. The studio also produces the Mega Shark series, consisting of 2009’s Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus, 2010’s Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus, and 2013’s Mega Shark Versus Mecha Shark.

Obviously, Mega Shark is a character with far too much depth to be limited to a mere trilogy. That’s why in 2015 The Asylum is scheduled to release Mega Shark Versus Kolossus, in which the oversized sea creature does battle against a gigantic, humanoid weapon. An unused leftover from the Cold War, the Kolossus falls into the hands of terrorists in Ukraine, who activate the robotic menace designed by U.S.S.R. scientists.

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At least, the movie says the Kolossus was created by Russian scientists. If you ask us, though, the real credit should be going to Attack on Titan author and artist Hajime Isayama.

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It’s not clear whether the Kolossus is mechanical, biological, or some Evangelion-like mixture of the two, Nor is it clear which side humanity is supposed to be rooting for when it inevitably meets up and throws down with the Mega Shark.

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▼ We’re not sure pro-wrestling’s giant swing is the best way to fight a giant shark…

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▼ …especially when the Kolossus can apparently shoot lasers.

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And just in case you were worried The Asylum couldn’t leech any more lifeblood off of Pacific Rim after its own Atlantic Rim in 2013, Mega Shark Versus Kolossus promises to have plenty of combat between its two principal stars take place in the middle of the ocean, once again bringing to mind Guillermo del Toro’s mecha blockbuster (which itself brought to mind Neon Genesis Evangelion).

The Asylum is even employing a bit of linguistic gymnastics to keep one step ahead of intellectual property rights complaints in various territories. As we’ve discussed before, in Japanese, the naked giants of Attack on Titan are called kyojin. Kyojin can be translated into English in a number of ways, including “colossus,” making it pretty clear where the idea for the newcomer to Mega Shark Versus Kolossus’ cast came from, while still giving the studio just the faintest of excuses with which to deny any legal infringements.

On the other hand, nowhere in the Japanese-language dialogue of the Attack on Titan anime or manga does anyone use the word “titan.” So what’s the title being used for the Japanese release of Mega Shark Versus Kolossus?

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Honestly, at this point, what’s the point in holding back? We say it’s time for The Asylum to go all-out, add in some scenes of a luxury cruise ship, and rename the film Mega Shark Versus Kolossus in the Attack on Titanic.

Source: via Hachima Kiko
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