unko090

But is it really as good as mom used to make?

The other day RocketNews24 caught wind of an establishment in Arakawa, Tokyo offering a most unusual dish called “Mama’s Poop” (Mama no Unchi). It should be noted that in Japan, “mama” is a term often used for the female manager of small businesses such as eateries or bars.

However, that made Mama’s Poop only a fraction of a percent less creepy, so we sent our reporter Yuichiro Wasai to investigate. Accidentally battle-hardened by a Parisian brothel, he had the courage needed to deal with whatever fetishes such a restaurant might offer.

“Mamaaaaa I just ate your poooooo.
Put some wasabi on it too. 
Didn’t want to, but it was foooooood.”

Those words, sung in the passionate voice of Freddy Mercury, echoed through Yuichiro’s head as he made the one-minute walk from Machiya Station to his destination. The storefront displayed the name Deko Suke, but that was in relatively dim print under a bold slogan which read “If you go home, there is nothing there!!”

Unsettled by this, Yuichiro was filled with doubt over whether he really wanted to enter this place. It could have been one of those kinky joints like that naked restaurant that opened a while back.

He had a job to do though, so our reporter slowly opened the door and walked into the dim light that glowed from inside. The place seemed normal enough at first glance with quaint decorations and some fully clothed diners enjoying their food.

▼ One crudely made poster offered up the “Ladies Special”, which is essentially the owner himself (valued at 300 yen) served for free…though he worded it much less tactfully.

“Hey bro, Mama’s taking a crap right now so go a head an take a seat,” shouted one of the customers. This jolted Yuichiro out of his surveillance and he sat down at a table. Soon after Mama came out of the restroom. Whether she was actually pooping or not, he’ll never know.

Aside from some bawdy humor, Yuichiro was relived. There was no actual perverted shenanigans going on here. It was just a casual type of restaurant…really, really causal. Looking at the charming handwritten menu on the table, he was also pleased to see that a lot of the food was reasonably priced with most items ranging from 200 to 400 yen (US$1.90 to $3.80).

▼ Fried fish paste (Satsuma Age) was only 300 yen ($2.83)

▼ And a nice clump of stir-fried beef was only 380 yen ($3.58)

The variety of items was great too. Yes, far from the sex dungeon he was expecting, Deko Suke was apparently just a victim of some nasty rumors…

Then it jumped out at him.

▼ “Mama’s Poop – 130 yen ($1.23)”

Actually, there was also a Crow’s Poop available for only 50 yen ($0.47) so he decided to grab a plate of that too. But first he would have to make the order. This proved to be the most difficult part of his adventure: actually uttering the words “Can I eat Mama’s Poop please?” to Mama herself. No doubt she enjoyed it though.

Unfortunately, Mama said we couldn’t actually show a photo of her Poop or describe it’s contents in too much detail. It wasn’t so much an order as it was her shaming Yuichiro into it, saying, “A proper man doesn’t discuss his mama’s poop with other people.” Since then he has been annoyingly tight-lipped on the subject.

However, he could say that it was good. Although it looked a lot like a pile of crap, the taste dispelled its image right away. It had a nostalgic flavor of home. When we tried to ask Yuichiro about the texture of his Mama’s Poop, he just looked at the ground, kicking at pebbles saying, “Aww, come on, guys…”

Sadly, the only way for anyone to experience Mama’s Poop is to go to Deko Suke and experience it for themselves. Yuichiro assures us it’s good and the only bitter taste comes when you have to announce aloud, “I’ll have a plate of Mama’s Poop, please.”

Information
Deko Suke
でこ助
7-22-5 Arakawa, Arakawa Ward, Tokyo
東京都荒川区荒川7-22-5
Hours: 4:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. (weekdays), 10:00 p.m. (weekends & holidays)
Open seven days a week

Original report by Yuichiro Wasai
Photos: RocketNews24
[ Read in Japanese ]