These not-so-little piggies went “wee, wee, wee” all the way on a bloody path of destruction.

On a tranquil Saturday morning at about 11:25 a.m. two wild boars described as a parent and child appeared in the Honmachi area of Higashiyama Ward in Kyoto City. It’s not clear what initially set off the animals, but as we shall soon see: Once you get a wild boar agitated, there isn’t much you can do to stop it.

At this time, a call came into the Kyoto Prefectural Police that a “high school girl was rammed by a wild boar.” According to witnesses, the larger boar was about one meter (three feet) long.

The attack prompted a small panic in the streets and sent the boars running for cover at a nearby elderly care facility, where they rammed into the front door, puncturing it.

In an effort to protect their residents, two staff members, a 43-year-old man and 35-year-old woman, attempted to contain the animals. However, the beasts proved too strong and ran back towards the street after leaving the workers with bites and scrapes to their legs.

▼ A news report showing the damage and blood stains of the elderly facility attack

Next, the boars encountered an 81-year-old resident and rushed her. As a result, she fell down and received several injuries including a fractured right wrist. A nearby 71-year-old retired police officer gallantly tried to intervene and subdue one of the boars by putting it in a headlock. It was a noble but futile effort though, as the animal wrestled free, leaving the man with bites and scratches to his arms and legs.

By this time, a party of four men was assembled to do battle with the boars once and for all. According to one warrior, an unnamed carpenter in his 50s: “I fought the wild boar for about 10 minutes with a two-by-four, but it didn’t give an inch. It was scary.”

Despite much of the incident taking place near popular sightseeing spot Tokufu Temple, no one managed to record the incident on video. Luckily, we managed to track down an accurate reenactment of the final battle.

In the real event, the boars fled the scene and returned to the mountains, thus depriving the men of a possible Stout Bone or Beast Tears. In their wake the five victims mentioned above were sent to hospital for a range of injuries.

According to the locals, boars are known to pop up in town from time to time during the early spring to snack on the bamboo that grows around there.

So, if you happen to be visiting Kyoto during this season and spot a boar, make sure not to do anything to set them off. By “anything” I mean make eye contact, move suddenly, make loud sounds, um, breathe… Pretty much anything will piss them off, and since Epitaph Blades are banned in Japan, your chances for victory are slim.

Source: Mainichi Shimbun, Otakomu
Top image: Wikipedia/Show_ryu