New updates over next two months, free of charge and misogyny!

If we were to sum up the current status of the Tokyo 2020 Olympics, “could be better” would be a pretty conservative estimate. Just as the global pandemic looks like it has a slightly more than zero percent chance of subsiding by July, we now have the emergence of a chairman with a superhuman ability of discrediting the entire tournament just by opening his mouth.

It’s times like these that I prefer to slip into the fantasy realm of video games to escape the harsh absurdities of modern life. And as luck would have it, the Tokyo 2020 Olympics: The Official Video Game on the Switch and PS4 is just the cure for my botched-Games-blues.

Ahhh, that’s the idyllic stuff I was looking for.

This adaptation of the global sporting event by Sega combines a realistic pageantry with the eye-grabbing effects and animation style of their popular Yakuza series for a downright fun time.

And unlike the real competition, which needed to be postponed for a year but still has to fend off deadly heat and even deadlier viruses, these virtual feats of athleticism have been going exceptionally smoothly.

▼ It’s always sunny at the Sega Games

In fact, since its release in late 2019, Tokyo 2020 Olympics: The Official Video Game is already kicking off its 34th “Challenge Top Athletes” update. This is where real-life greats from past Olympics are added to the game as your opponents.

In addition to the likenesses being realistically rendered, the athletes’ real voices have been recorded for use in the game. So, when beach volleyball giants Kaho Sakaguchi and Reika Murakami give each other a heads-up in the game, that’s really them.

▼ And when Sakaguchi charges up her red aura for a spike its sound is exactly like real life

Beach volleyball is one of the events featured over the two-week period of 5 to 18 February. The other is judo, which pits players against none other than the legendary Shinichi Shinohara. People outside Japan might remember him from his appearance in Yakuza Kiwami.

Like with past Challenge Top Athlete updates, players can try to beat these top competitors to unlock special achievements. Afterward, we’ll move right into the 35th challenge with sports climbing and table tennis, featuring the infamous voice of Tomokazu Harimoto.

From there we go swiftly into the 36th challenge, featuring another Judo great, Kosei Inoue and an all-star lineup in the 400-meter relay. Finally, fiscal 2020 is rounded out by the 100-meter dash and 100-meter freestyle swimming events which concludes on 1 April.

From there it’s anyone’s guess, but it’s sure to be fun. So join me and a growing number of people withdrawing from this imperfect human Olympics and retreat to the endless joy of The Official Video Game. It’ll be just like that romantic comedy I saw once called The Lawnmower Man.

▼ Come. Live with me inside the machine forever. It’s…peaceful here.

For those that choose to remain in reality, I can only offer this other completely bugged out game as a metaphor for Tokyo 2020.

Source, images: PR Times
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