Ronald McDonald and Donald Duck’s Illegitimate Love Child Discovered in Myanmar

This is the end♪My only friend the end♫

“Yangon… $#@%. I’m still only in Yangon!” Kuzo thought to himself as he awoke in his hotel room in Yangon (aka Rangoon), the largest city in Myanmar (aka Burma). He had been sent on a mission from RocketNews24 to find the fabled spawn of forbidden love between two high ranking mascots – Donald Duck and Ronald McDonald.

Code named Ronald McDonald Duck, it was rumored to be doing small-time rep work for a fast food joint around the city.

Kuzo had checked the dossier during his flight. The target was an unassuming cartoon duck connected to Wonderful Fast Food and Bakery. It kind of looked like Donald Duck, but there was no indication that this was the elusive duck-clown that RocketNews24 wanted him to get.

Now travelling up the dark streets to the heart of Yangon he was bracing himself for a possible confrontation with the Ronald McDonald Duck.

As he approached Wonderful, Kuzo could see a duck-like figure standing in the front window. The duck appeared to be begging him to come inside.

However, walking through the entrance Kuzo was taken aback by what he saw. Truly this was not your average cartoon duck, for it bore “the mark.” As the prophecy had foretold, the upside-down golden arches emblazoned on its hat were indeed the unholy sign of the anti-McDonald.

Then it hit Kuzo like a bucket of cold water that the duck wasn’t begging at all. His hands were making a threatening gesture as if to say “Ya got a problem, bro?” as it stared at Kuzo with cold eyes utterly devoid of either fear or compassion.

Shaken, Kuzo decided not to make any trouble. He had got the confirmation he wanted. This must have been Ronald McDonald Duck. Having finished his assignment, Kuzo’s fear turned to hunger so he went in to eat.

Then, Kuzo found true horror. Wonderful surprisingly didn’t sell any burgers. Their main fare was fried meat cutlets, French fries, and fried rice. Despite the lack of beef, the food was alright.

It was almost as if the Duck had a grudge against sellers of burgers, possibly from having been abandoned by the biggest.

While researching the area, Kuzo discovered that there used to be a burger joint called Mac Burger nearby. However, the business mysteriously went under in late 2012 and was replaced by an exhibition hall.