If real animals were Pokémon, the world would be a much weirder place

The creators of Pokémon were nothing if not brilliant when they decided to make the collectible creatures cute and cuddly fantastical cryptid-like animals influenced by – yet sufficiently removed from – the designs of real-world critters. This allows the player/collector to suspend their disbelief enough that they don’t feel too bad about enslaving a living, breathing thing to battle other living, breathing things for their amusement.

But when you make it the other way around – real-world animals made to look like pokémon – things get a little more disturbing. Are you or your kids willing to capture, for example, an actual fox with nine tails and make it battle a giant frog with a flower on its back for bragging rights? That scenario isn’t too far removed from real-life cockfighting and dog fights.

This wasn’t a question we had to ask ourselves in the early days of Pokémon. But then, of course, the Internet happened, and the Internet is uniquely capable of making us feel bad about almost anything. So, for your amusement/guilt, we present to you real-world animals if they were pokémon:

▼ First, here’s a legitimately terrifying Dragonair.

▼ A mouse-sized Pikachu. I think?

▼ This reminds me of that old question, “Would you rather fight ten duck-sized horses, or one horse-sized duck.” Only, you know, now they’re on fire. (Rapidash)

▼ Japan actually has its own horrifying version of this Beedrill.

▼ Real-life Squirtle.

▼ Metapod looking hilariously grumpy.

▼ Snubbull wouldn’t be so bad to keep as a pet.

▼ Same for this Arcanine.

▼ You should probably wear rubber gloves when handling Pikachu.

▼ A man being consumed by a mass of sentient green beans, or a Tangela?

▼ Not an actual animal I’m aware of, but a pretty good take on a real-life version of Geodude.

▼ UFC champion Machamp.

▼ Yanma.

▼ Golbat looking a lot like a real-life version of a low-level RPG villain.

▼ This one really does look like a pretty accurate take on Mewtew if it were real.

▼ Real-life Cubone looks like an attack animal the Wildlings from Game of Thrones might use.

▼ “I choose you, Common House Cat!”

▼ This could very easily not actually be a Photoshop. (Pikachu)

▼ Marill, looking kind of derpy. Note the wandering eyes.

▼ Venosaur.

▼ Shaymin makes hedgehogs look somehow even more adorable.

To be honest with you, I’ve only seen a few episodes of the Pokémon anime and played only an hour or so of the very first game (Pokémon: Mother of Pearl or something), so I’m not familiar with the particular strengths and weaknesses of each critter, but I’d say if I were a 10-year-old boy striking out alone into the world for the first time (with my parents’ full support and permission) to collect and battle wild animals, I’d probably choose Mewtew as my starting creature for its sheer ability to disturb and frighten gym masters. What’s your starting real-life pokémon?

Source: Curazy

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