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Here at RocketNews24, we’re all about expanding our horizons. That means we’re always on the lookout for new places to visit, new burgers to eat, and most of all, new spheres of craziness for our intrepid Japanese language correspondent Mr. Sato to wade into.

Now, though, we’re ready for our beautiful, ambitious, tenacious, stylish, hygienic, innovative, trend-setting reporter to go someplace he’s never gone before: your home, in the form of charming Mr. Sato stickers that we’re giving away.

Read on to find out how to get your hands on a set.

Not too long ago, we sat down for a talk with the staff of character merchandising company Run’a to discuss pooling our creative talents. At our first meeting, Mr. Sato, a man who’s always got his finger on the voice of the people, offered the following suggestion.

“A giant sticker of my face that you could put on the inside of your bathroom door. That way, when you sit down on the toilet, our eyes would meet, which I’m sure would give people a positive feeling.”

The designers at Run’a, troopers that they are, made one for us.

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But as you can see, despite coupling Run’a’s impressive level of craftsmanship with Mr. Sato’s photogenic mug, it isn’t the most versatile item. So, in our follow up meeting, they asked us if we had any other ideas with a wider range of applications.

Once again, Mr. Sato voiced a diagram of his vision.

“How about a smaller sticker that you could put on the toilet itself? Toilet lids have a pretty standard size, so you could make one design, and use it with many different toilets.”

The man is a genius.

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▼ And the Run’a designers are thorough.

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But despite finding another deep strain of bathroom functionality for the stickers, we have to admit their size sort of limits their usefulness. Yes, we’re sure the cheerful gaze of Mr. Sato will keep anyone in your household from hogging the bathroom for fear of all that eye contact making things awkward, but what about those rare individuals who don’t want to set up a Sato shrine that’s visible from the throne?

▼ Granted, this is a pretty terrifying Halloween costume, but what about the other 364 days of the year?

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Eventually, we got Mr. Sato’s thinking back inside the box as he capitulated to the idea that bigger isn’t always better. So we had Run’a whip us up one more batch of stickers, this time in much more manageable dimensions. These new, compact versions are just the right size for sticking on your smartphone, laptop, or other belongs so that everyone knows they’re yours, so hands off!

▼ Don’t you just hate it when people mistake your neck for theirs and wander off with it?

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The prototypes are all done, but they’re not quite ready to go on sale yet. Still, we’ve got more samples sitting around the office than we need, since our toilet is already up to full Sato-spec (not to mention we get to see the genuine article every day).

So instead, we’re giving them away to six lucky readers, each of whom will receive a sheet of three Sato Stickers.

Ordinarily, we’d determine the winners through a bare-knuckled battle royal martial arts tournament/cook-lunch-for-the-RocketNews24-staff combination contest, with the results weighted 30/70 to produce each entrant’s final score. Unfortunately, both our company arena and kitchen are currently under renovation, so instead, all you have to do is follow Mr. Sato on Twitter and Tweet him the message, “Gimme a sticker” (ステッカーくれ! in Japanese). Winners will then be contacted so you can tell us where to mail your prize to.

But is the world really ready for 18 tiny Mr. Satos to be unleashed on it? Honestly, we’re not entirely sure ourselves, so to contain any potential mayhem, only those currently in Japan are eligible for this very first edition of Sato goodies. For everyone outside the country, sit tight and don’t worry, we’ll have something for all of you once the stickers are out of beta testing.

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Related: Mr. Sato’s Twitter account
Photos: RocketNews24
[ Read in Japanese ]