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Some people say cats possess strong spiritual powers, but I’m not so sure. Yeah, they’ve been popular familiars for literary witches since as far back as anyone can remember, but I’m not really convinced that they can sense spirits where the rest of us can’t just because they have a tendency to be startled by, and throw jabs at, empty patches of air. Really, that’s only about as profound a connection to the supernatural plane as I have after half a bottle of bourbon.

But maybe cats do have access to dark magical powers. It would certainly explain the eerie calm they display in this video showing a group of them huddled around a table as part of what looks like a cultish ritual.

I mean seriously, take a look at that unholy gathering. Granted, yes, one of them is wearing a Hello Kitty hat, but isn’t it only natural that the power-hungry cult leader adorn himself with images of the most accomplished member of his species, the one with the most success in seducing the souls of the hated humans so that they willingly shower her with riches in tribute?

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Even more damning evidence of this gathering of the damned can be found atop their table. Dead center we can see what looks like a sinister black candle, and every member of this all-feline 38-percent coven has their paws stretched out towards it, seemingly seeking to draw in its infernal energies.

Oh no, wait! Could it be they’re not drawing dark energy from the table (alter?), but pouring their own into it? Are they summoning some terrible hellbeast which will bring about the end of our civilization, and replace it with another one in which mankind is enslaved, forced to labor without rest in the hot sun, building towering scratching posts that stretch towards the heavens and the gods that have forsaken us?

As the video starts, we think we can even hear the chanting that will open the portal and seal our fate.

Oh, so maybe it’s not a cultish ritual. After all, that melody is unmistakable no matter what language the lyrics are in, and we suppose it’s possible that’s not a corpse meant to house the essence of a dark lord who’s crossing over into the mortal realm that the kitties are gathered around, but actually some sort of cat-safe birthday cake. At least, that’s what some Internet commenters took away from the scene.

“They’re all really well-behaved.”
“So disciplined.”

Brainwashed, enthralled cultists exhibit similarly regimented behavior, though, and some feel there’s something more malicious going on here than a birthday party.

“What the heck is this!?”
“All I’m seeing is cultists gathered for a ritual.”
“Just what are they trying to summon?”

For all we know, YouTube uploader Duo Er Zheng stumbled upon the cats after they were already gathered together like this, and just started singing because she assumed it was a birthday party. Just like it’s possible that right after the video ends, they pounced on her and drained whatever blood they needed to top off their summoning chalice.

At least, that’s the scenario we’re imagining after spending a bit too long staring into the white cat’s unsettling gaze.

▼ Eyes no doubt as black as the void of its heart, which knows neither pity nor remorse

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Source, images: YouTube
[ Read in Japanese ]