Every once in a while a commercial comes along that so accurately deconstructs the human condition that it’s hard for any of us to not cry lasers over it. There was that one time Intel showed us the harrowing tale of a young boy whose friend was dying of cancer, and that Toyota one about a father and daughter? Well, I darn near vaporized my cat while watching that one.

Now, noodle giant Nissin and their White Curry Meshi (rice) bring us a spot titled “Sorrow of Wasteland“, which tells the story of desperate struggle between two men who were once friends. Get your tissues and ruby-quartz glasses out for this one, folks!

The video’s description tells us that the two men are TV personality and octogenarian Ika Hachiro (Kakugo Kondo)…

…and dancer-singer Kenya Osumi. Osumi issued a challenge to any who would declare themselves the strongest.

Komuai from the J-Pop group Suiyobi no Campanella was also present on the post-apocalyptic Fist of North Star-reminiscent battleground as an impartial witness.

Now, LET THE SORROW BEGIN!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNH0srLBZ9w

Pretty heart-wrenching, isn’t it? To see those two best of friends unleash chi energy at each other like that after their muscles explode… I don’t know, maybe it just hits too close to home for me having been through that myself. Let’s see what others had to say about the commercial on Twitter.

“What…was…that?”
“Nissin has been making some f***ed up commercials recently.”
“They threw out everything they knew about marketing and vomited insanity into a video instead.”
“For the first time in as long as I can remember, I cannot find the words to express the shock at what I saw.”
“That was scary.”
“What happened at Nissin?”

Alright, clearly these people don’t know the backstory to this commercial. In case you don’t either, it all began in June of 2015 during a giant afro-hair-halo god dance party. These were simpler times when Nissin only sold Curry Meshi in the regular brown color.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmXNl4LeLec

Back then Osumi and Ika Hachiro were just bros dancing the days away to please their deity.

They were joined by others such as the aerobics team.

Guy with smoke in his face.

Centaur guy.

K.

And, of course, blue T-shirt guy.

Shortly after the dance party, relationships began to deteriorate. Osumi had tasted of the Instant Curry of Knowledge and in a fit of jealously began killing off the other members who were more popular than him and stealing their life-forces to fuel his own power.

However, there was one man whom he could not overcome: Ika Hachiro.

That’s why during the fight we are suddenly presented with a flashback of Osumi and Hachiro having a good time together. It’s to remind us of that innocence lost.

There, it should all make sense to you now. But that explanation surely took away the emotional impact of the ad, so it’s understandable if you didn’t cry lasers. At least now you’ll be ready for the next commercial for instant curry rice to overwhelm your emotions.

Source/screenshots: YouTube/Nissin Food Group Official Channel
Original article by Anji Tabata
[ Read in Japanese ]