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If there were a Japanese office sitcom, you could expect to see some of these antics.

Ah, office life. While the rest of the world has embraced the fact that being forced to work with the same dozen or so people every day in a confined, sterile environment is a fairly miserable experience, Japan still holds it in high regard. Japanese office dramas often focus on satisfaction from hard work, whereas office shows in the west love to pick out the hilarious absurdities that pervade office life.

But it seems like Japanese Twitter is slowly coming around to the Western way of thinking. We’ve seen the top 11 tweets to make you feel glad you don’t work in Japan, and now we present to you the latest round of tweets where Japanese office workers share their workplace antics. Pretty much all of them would feel right at home with a laughtrack going in the background.

#7. K-kun the death defier

“Last year this guy in my office, K-kun, got dengue fever but messed up and told our boss that he got Ebola instead, pretty much sending our whole building into a frenzy.

“This year K-kun’s done it again. Instead of telling our boss that he got food poisoning from oysters, he said that he got food poisoning from fugu [puffer fish]. That’s twice this guy’s come face to face with death.”

Ah yes, the old slip of the tongue. Classic. Although, there’s a chance that K-kun just wanted to get out of work and didn’t feel like his “regular” illnesses were enough to call in sick. Now it’s starting to sound like an episode of Seinfeld….

#6. The clear file of truth

“A clear file in my office. What company gives these out? lol”

This probably happened in an IT/software company. The Japanese on the clear file translates to something like “Hate bugs, don’t hate people” or if we want to be more poetic, “Hateth not the programmer, hateth the bugs.”

Certainly solid advice. I propose that we create another clear file too: “Hate not the translator, hate the ambiguous original text.” Now that’s one I can get behind!

#5. The tsundere janitor

“The old woman janitor at my work was always a little surly. For a whole month, I said bye to her when I left but never got a response. So I tried a bunch of other things, thanks for all your hard work, thank you very much, hope you get to go home soon, always with a smile, but she always ignored me.

“Finally, today, she responded. Sounding very upset, she said: ‘Oh be quiet! I’m not the one putting in long hours and working hard here, you are! So take care of yourself!’ I’ve never felt more satisfied. That old woman is so cute and moe.”

B-baka! It’s not like I like picking up your trash or anything! *blushes*

#4. Kindergarten coercion

“I was eating lunch and left some cut-up cabbage off to the side, fully prepared to throw it out. But then a coworker of mine who used to be a kindergarten teacher came up to me and said: ‘Looks like someone’s not going to have a happy plate!’

“So I told her I’d finish it if she got me to eat it like she did with her kindergarteners. A little embarrassed, she said: ‘All right, let’s bring the cabbage airplane in for a landing in the mouth airport in one big bite!’ Needless to say, I ate it all.”

Isn’t blossoming office romance beautiful? Of course, conflict will arise when someone else wants to join their Duck Duck Goose game.

#3. Sorry babe, my batteries just don’t want us to work out

“Some women at work were saying the other day that games are great because they’ll never betray you like men do. I’m so jealous of them. I wonder what it must be like never to have been betrayed by a game….”

The above is a screenshot of a game informing the player that “unfortunately their save file has been lost.” That’s pretty much the ultimate knife cartridge in the back right there.

#2. Hamster Relations Department

“This morning my friend’s hamster got out so I called work and told them I’d be about five minutes late getting in. I also reassured them that I’d be there even if we didn’t find it, but then my boss came on the line. He said: ‘If you come to work without finding that little guy, the whole office atmosphere will be miserable. It doesn’t matter how late you are, just find that hamster!’ My office is so nice.”

That hamster is so going to become a central character in season three once ratings plummet and the producers want to draw in the lucrative two to 12-year-old crowd.

#1. Just say the magic kanji

“Every time the people in India we work with send us an e-mail, it has the kanji for ‘urgent’  (至急)  in the subject. So I finally told them to stop and only use it for when something actually needs to be done quickly.

“They were so confused. They told me that they had no idea what the kanji meant, but that the Japanese offices always got back to them right away and worked faster whenever they used it. I swear, I’m going to kill the guy from our department who went to India and told them about this….”

It’s only crazy if it doesn’t work, right?

So all you Japanese TV producers out there, are you listening? Everything here practically writes itself. There’s awkward romance, hilarious miscommunications, tsundere janitors, hamster-loving bosses… the list goes on.

A Japanese office sitcom that laughs at all the ridiculous things that go on at work rather than saying how awesome they are may finally be the show that gets me, and the thousands of others who liked these tweets, to watch Japanese TV again.

Source: CuRAZY
Featured/top image: Flickr/db Photography | Demi-Brooke