How exactly does one discover that they have this talent?
It is said that true genius often goes unrecognized during its lifetime.
So let’s put an end to that right now, by recognizing the genius that is Japanese comedian (?) slash magician (???) UessP, who goes by @uespiiiiii on Twitter (which is also how you pronounce his name, all six i’s being absolutely necessary).
Shhh, no more talk. Only watch.
▼ “Using a measuring tape to perform a dangerous tablecloth pull.”
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/939437846741491713Oh. Oh yes. Rarely do we get to gaze upon perfection, but here ladies and gentlemen is true peak humanity.
His confident stare, the silent prayer before the tape retracts, the flawless execution, and of course the beautiful soundtrack that rises and falls along with the bated breath and pounding hearts of the audience. “Will we catch an unwanted glimpse of his junk?” we wonder to ourselves. The build up of tension and the sweet release when it stays hidden delivers a high like no other.
And if you think this was the only time UessP had performed this magic trick, oh no. The master has performed the trick many, many times, in dozens of different ways. Here’s a small sampling:
▼ He’s performed it using a fan…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/886173407938699264▼ …a motorcycle helmet…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/936897993386573826▼ …a rice cooker…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/934366326667206656▼ …a shredder…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/921678613329494016▼ …by enlisting the help of an animated doodle…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/918404528839393280▼ …and of course, using a PlayStation 2.
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/926751773213077507▼ For added danger,
he’s also done the trick with a cup filled with hot tea.
▼ And for any of the naysayers claiming it’s faked (how dare you!),
he performs it live on Georgia’s Got Talent.
▼ Of course, crotch-cloth-pulling isn’t UessP’s only talent.
Here you can see him take a spectacular handstand-selfie.
If you want to keep up with self-proclaimed “naked performer” UessP’s latest and greatest magic tricks, then be sure to give the man a follow on Twitter. You don’t have to know any Japanese to understand the genius he’s trying to convey — you can feel it in your soul.
Is UessP more impressive than fellow Japanese magician TanBa swallowing balloons and razor blades? We’ll leave that for future generations of scholars to decide. For now, we’ll just anxiously await the next video, to see how UessP yet again cleverly conceals his crotch from our eyes.
Source: Twitter/@uespiiiiii
Featured image: Twitter/@uespiiiiii
Japanese comedian gets standing ovation for crotch-covering antics in France【Video】
Unique RSVP causes Twitter to explode with hilarious ways to say “no”
Owner pulls a “too slow” trick on loving canine【Video】
Japanese man astounds Internet by levitating paper cup and cigarette in mid-air【Video】
Japanese mom keeps cool, lays down hot, hilarious drum beat to scare off cockroach invader【Video】
Japan enters Golden Week vacation period, survey shows one in three plan to ride it out at home
Japan’s new Pokémon jackets give you the look and powers of the Kanto starter trio
Studio Ghibli releases new anime keychains that are like miniature figurines
Retro-style Evangelion T-shirts coming to Uniqlo sister brand GU[Photos]
Japan’s Mister Donut Japan tries its hand at Taiwanese-style street food donuts
Bandai cancels gacha/blind-buy system for anime cosmetics, will let fans choose what they buy
Shinto shrine will bless your bike helmet and give you a sacred bike helmet stamp
Lipton releases… Pudding Milk Tea in Japan?!?
Dorayaki from 89-year-old Japanese confectionery shop is one of the best sweets hidden in Tokyo
Only five branches of Japan’s beef bowl giant Matsuya serve milk shakes, but how do they taste?
New Kyoto Converse sneakers celebrate Japan with traditional kimono fabrics for your feet
Brand-new Square Enix Cafe to open in Tokyo…and in Los Angeles too!
Japan’s 5.3 million beautiful Hitachi Nemophila flowers are now in full bloom[Photos]
Tifa’s Final Fantasy VII bar is going to pop up in real-world Tokyo
Studio Ghibli launches huge new anime movie T-shirt collection with special design details
Hello Kitty is now a transforming truck robot[Photos]
Tsujihan sushi bowl restaurant goes viral with foreign tourists, but is it worth the hype?
Japan reportedly adding Japanese language skill requirement to most common foreigner work visa
Pokémon and Ikea Japan cross over into each other’s worlds with collaboration events
Wisteria season starts early with blooming of Japan’s Great Wisteria in its beautiful garden
Japan’s best conveyor belt sushi restaurant of seven years ago has now, finally, come to Tokyo
Brand-new Pokémon manhole covers coming to help the recovery of a disaster-stricken part of Japan
Japan’s awesomely beautiful Alpen Route snow corridor is now open
Injuries on stairs in Tokyo highlight an overlooked design flaw
Survey asks foreign tourists what bothered them in Japan, more than half gave same answer
Japan’s human washing machines will go on sale to general public, demos to be held in Tokyo
Starbucks Japan releases new drinkware and goods for Valentine’s Day
We deeply regret going into this tunnel on our walk in the mountains of Japan
Starbucks Japan releases new sakura goods and drinkware for cherry blossom season 2026
Japan’s newest Shinkansen has no seats…or passengers [Video]
Major Japanese hotel chain says reservations via overseas booking sites may not be valid
Put sesame oil in your coffee? Japanese maker says it’s the best way to start your day【Taste test】
No more using real katana for tourism activities, Japan’s National Police Agency says
Japanese Twitterers ask “who dunnit?” in hilarious collection of random photos
Walking Dead star Norman Reedus sends Christmas greetings via Japanese comedy stripper Mr Uekusa
Japanese mascot malfunction gives hilarious look at what it’s really like inside a costume【Video】
Japanese Twitter can’t figure out how to wear these shoes, comes up with hilarious ideas
Japanese Twitter taken over by butt-rubbing bears who love to “slap the bass” 【Video】
This month’s slightly bizarre Japanese Twitter trend is showing off overly full Subway sandwiches
Twitter quacks with laughter at this hilariously angry duck berating a golden retriever【Video】
This whacky Japanese cat looks hilariously buff, adorably fluff【Video】
Japanese Twitter artist gives hilarious suggestion for when you can’t draw a character’s body
Japanese Twitter’s definitive collection of “Wait, that’s not a cat!” moments【Photos】
Got Talent tourist Mr. Uekusa heads to Spain, narrowly avoids first-round disaster
Japanese Twitter users respond: “What do you do when a friend criticizes anime you like?”
Japanese Twitter shows off list of seven hilarious differences between being 18 versus being 81
Japanese kids set hilarious and ingenious traps to capture Santa Claus【Pics, Videos】
Japanese companies poke fun at their own products in hilariously self-deprecating advertisements
Japanese Twitter users show off how easily they can hide their eye shadow by opening their eyes