How exactly does one discover that they have this talent?
It is said that true genius often goes unrecognized during its lifetime.
So let’s put an end to that right now, by recognizing the genius that is Japanese comedian (?) slash magician (???) UessP, who goes by @uespiiiiii on Twitter (which is also how you pronounce his name, all six i’s being absolutely necessary).
Shhh, no more talk. Only watch.
▼ “Using a measuring tape to perform a dangerous tablecloth pull.”
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/939437846741491713Oh. Oh yes. Rarely do we get to gaze upon perfection, but here ladies and gentlemen is true peak humanity.
His confident stare, the silent prayer before the tape retracts, the flawless execution, and of course the beautiful soundtrack that rises and falls along with the bated breath and pounding hearts of the audience. “Will we catch an unwanted glimpse of his junk?” we wonder to ourselves. The build up of tension and the sweet release when it stays hidden delivers a high like no other.
And if you think this was the only time UessP had performed this magic trick, oh no. The master has performed the trick many, many times, in dozens of different ways. Here’s a small sampling:
▼ He’s performed it using a fan…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/886173407938699264▼ …a motorcycle helmet…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/936897993386573826▼ …a rice cooker…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/934366326667206656▼ …a shredder…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/921678613329494016▼ …by enlisting the help of an animated doodle…
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/918404528839393280▼ …and of course, using a PlayStation 2.
https://twitter.com/uespiiiiii/status/926751773213077507▼ For added danger,
he’s also done the trick with a cup filled with hot tea.
▼ And for any of the naysayers claiming it’s faked (how dare you!),
he performs it live on Georgia’s Got Talent.
▼ Of course, crotch-cloth-pulling isn’t UessP’s only talent.
Here you can see him take a spectacular handstand-selfie.
If you want to keep up with self-proclaimed “naked performer” UessP’s latest and greatest magic tricks, then be sure to give the man a follow on Twitter. You don’t have to know any Japanese to understand the genius he’s trying to convey — you can feel it in your soul.
Is UessP more impressive than fellow Japanese magician TanBa swallowing balloons and razor blades? We’ll leave that for future generations of scholars to decide. For now, we’ll just anxiously await the next video, to see how UessP yet again cleverly conceals his crotch from our eyes.
Source: Twitter/@uespiiiiii
Featured image: Twitter/@uespiiiiii
Japanese comedian gets standing ovation for crotch-covering antics in France【Video】
Unique RSVP causes Twitter to explode with hilarious ways to say “no”
Owner pulls a “too slow” trick on loving canine【Video】
Japanese man astounds Internet by levitating paper cup and cigarette in mid-air【Video】
Japanese mom keeps cool, lays down hot, hilarious drum beat to scare off cockroach invader【Video】
Injuries on stairs in Tokyo highlight an overlooked design flaw
Wisteria season starts early with blooming of Japan’s Great Wisteria in its beautiful garden
Japan’s popular bead bonsai kit is as beautiful as it is gruelling to make
Sanrio’s best-loved butthole defies physics in adorable sumo collaboration[Photos]
7-Eleven Japan now sells… hot takoyaki!
Mt. Fuji decorated with a 500,000-flower pink carpet is Japan’s ultimate spring view
What’s inside Japan’s super-rare, super-popular Nara bread?
We try out the fifth most popular restaurant among foreigners in Japan: Italian restaurant Nino
Haku is…Chihiro’s dead brother? Studio Ghibli fans blown away by Spirited Away theory
Uniqlo Ukiyo-e Blue T-shirts: A cool-hued reinterpretation of some of Japan’s greatest paintings
Japan’s best conveyor belt sushi restaurant of seven years ago has now, finally, come to Tokyo
Lawson convenience store at popular tourist site is one of the most unusual in Japan
Japanese trains in Sapporo might be better than those in Tokyo, thanks to one special feature
Japanese government wants overseas anime market to roughly triple in 10 years, but are they crazy?
30 Pikachus want to share a Tokyo hotel room with you that has separate Grass, Water, Fire spaces
Japanese bento shop sells croquettes for 13 cents, but are they any good?
Starbucks Japan releases FIVE new Frappuccinos in a day, and we try them all in 90 minutes
Japan reportedly adding Japanese language skill requirement to most common foreigner work visa
Pokémon and Ikea Japan cross over into each other’s worlds with collaboration events
Japan now has a special desk for people who work at home with a pet cat[Photos]
Famous Tokyo cherry blossom spot installs view-blocking screens to fight overcrowding[Video]
Uniqlo announces new T-shirts for One Piece, Naruto and more for manga publisher’s 100th birthday
Starbucks Japan releases new My Fruit³ Frappuccino at only 34 stores around the country
Krispy Kreme releases Super Mario doughnuts in Japan for a limited time
Japanese onsen egg maker from 100-yen store Daiso needs to be on your shopping list
Survey asks foreign tourists what bothered them in Japan, more than half gave same answer
Japan’s human washing machines will go on sale to general public, demos to be held in Tokyo
Starbucks Japan releases new drinkware and goods for Valentine’s Day
We deeply regret going into this tunnel on our walk in the mountains of Japan
Starbucks Japan releases new sakura goods and drinkware for cherry blossom season 2026
Studio Ghibli releases Kodama forest spirits from Princess Mononoke to light up your home
Japan’s newest Shinkansen has no seats…or passengers [Video]
Major Japanese hotel chain says reservations via overseas booking sites may not be valid
Put sesame oil in your coffee? Japanese maker says it’s the best way to start your day【Taste test】
No more using real katana for tourism activities, Japan’s National Police Agency says
Japanese Twitterers ask “who dunnit?” in hilarious collection of random photos
Walking Dead star Norman Reedus sends Christmas greetings via Japanese comedy stripper Mr Uekusa
Japanese mascot malfunction gives hilarious look at what it’s really like inside a costume【Video】
Japanese Twitter can’t figure out how to wear these shoes, comes up with hilarious ideas
Japanese Twitter taken over by butt-rubbing bears who love to “slap the bass” 【Video】
This month’s slightly bizarre Japanese Twitter trend is showing off overly full Subway sandwiches
Twitter quacks with laughter at this hilariously angry duck berating a golden retriever【Video】
This whacky Japanese cat looks hilariously buff, adorably fluff【Video】
Japanese Twitter artist gives hilarious suggestion for when you can’t draw a character’s body
Japanese Twitter’s definitive collection of “Wait, that’s not a cat!” moments【Photos】
Got Talent tourist Mr. Uekusa heads to Spain, narrowly avoids first-round disaster
Japanese Twitter users respond: “What do you do when a friend criticizes anime you like?”
Japanese Twitter shows off list of seven hilarious differences between being 18 versus being 81
Japanese kids set hilarious and ingenious traps to capture Santa Claus【Pics, Videos】
Japanese companies poke fun at their own products in hilariously self-deprecating advertisements
Otaku in Western Art: Hilarious viral hashtag finds geeks hiding in classic masterpieces