Drunken attempt at assistance is a prime example of the solution being far worse than the problem.

Japan’s Golden Week vacation period kicked off last weekend, and two friends in Hyogo Prefecture’s Akashi City, not far from Kyoto, apparently decided to celebrate its start by going out for some drinks. Unfortunately, once they’d gotten comfortably liquored up they then hopped back into one man’s car to drive home.

The inebriated driver, a 32-year-old welder, ended up running the car into a drainage gutter, losing a wheel and crashing into a fence. He and the passenger, a 33-year-old office worker, fled the scene on foot before being picked up by a patrolman from the Hyogo Prefectural Police’s Kakogawa Precinct at around 10:45 p.m.

The officer placed both men in his patrol car for questioning, and the driver was arrested on charges of drunk driving and failure to report a traffic accident. The passenger, meanwhile, might have gotten off scot-free, but while being questioned he suddenly leaned forward and licked the policeman’s face between his mouth and nose.

While this behavior at first seems reminiscent of the serial foot-licker who prowled the streets of Kyoto a few years ago, the man insists he wasn’t licking the policeman for his own satisfaction. As a matter of fact, he claims his actions were for the officer’s benefit, saying “A mosquito had landed on the officer’s face, and I was trying to get it off.”

As gross and irritating as mosquitos and their bites are, even if the alleged insect really did exist most would argue that being licked by a drunken stranger is far more disgusting than having a bug on your face. Unsurprisingly, the police officer was less than appreciative of the tongue-based insect repellent strategy, and the man now faces criminal charges of obstructing the duties of a public official.

Source: Kobe Shimbun via Jin
Top image: Pakutaso

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