Your clothes should make a statement, and the statement here is “Hey, everybody! Look at my junk!”

By now, most people with an interest in Japan or reasonably priced fashion have heard of Uniqlo, Japan’s most popular chain of casual clothing stores. But Uniqlo’s parent company also manages another brand called GU.

GU is sort of the Old Navy to Uniqlo’s Gap. Its clothing is even more affordably priced, and in comparison to Uniqlo’s understated styles, GU is a little more willing to experiment with bold design choices. However, it may have gotten a little too bold with its Slim Tapered Color Block Pants.

From the back, the pants, a collaboration with designer Kim Jones, look pretty normal. That’s most people’s initial reaction to seeing them in profile, too.

Look closely at the photo above, though, and you might notice a strange splash field of white on the otherwise beige trousers. Swing around to the front, and…

…there’s an off-color button-up pocket, sitting right on the dong area of the wearer’s crotch.

And yes, these pants are part of GU’s men’s collection.

It’s unclear whether or not you’re actually supposed to use the pocket or leave it empty, like the exterior pockets on a suit jacket. On the one hand, the weight of anything you put in there is going to lay directly on top of your penis when you sit down, and the contents will be banging into your junk with every step you take. Everything will also spill out of the pocket whenever you need to unzip the fly and use the bathroom.

Still, a pocket is a pocket, and there’s a natural desire to want to make use of this unorthodox added utility. Due to the pouch’s shape and position, the most common suggestion from puzzled Japanese online commenters is to stick a banana in there.

If you think the bulging contours of your manhood are better complemented by black or olive, GU offers the Slim Tapered Color Block Pants in multiple colors.

▼ The cuffs also have thin stripes that match the hue of the crotch pocket, but the chance of anyone paying attention to your ankles when you’re wearing these is extremely tiny.

If you’ve been searching for pants like this your whole life (we suppose it’s possible, as we’ve never seen anything like them before), orders can be placed online here directly with GU. The pants are selling for 990 yen (US$9.10), which is a discount off their original list price, suggesting that not many shoppers have been willing to take the penis pocket plunge.

Source, images: GU
[ Read in Japanese ]

Follow Casey on Twitter, where he could use a new pair of Uniqlo jeans.