Look, Seiji, we’ll give you one piggyback ride, but we are not changing your diper.

Living in Tokyo means taking public transportation to get where you’re going, and that means carrying a bag. Some guys opt for single-shoulder messenger bags, but our Japanese-language reporter Seiji prefers a good old two-strap backpack, and his was starting to get worn out.

So he went on Amazon and started browsing the bag section, where he came across one that looked like just what he wanted. It was a little lighter in color than his old bag, but more or less the same sort of functional, understated style that Seiji likes. The only drawback was that at 25,920 yen (US$230), it was pretty pricey, but Seiji figured it was OK to splurge a little since he uses the same bag every day, whether he’s going to the office or out for fun on his day off.

So Seiji put in his order for a Backpacker’s Closet, as manufacturer CWF calls the model, and the very next day the Amazon delivery guy knocked on the door. Seiji was a little surprised to see him holding a large box in both arms, but it wouldn’t be the first time Amazon Japan had gone overboard with its packaging (or the second), so Seiji figured that maybe they’d just shipped his new backpack with a bunch of bubble wrap around it or something.

Once he had his bag out of the box, Seiji was pretty satisfied with the design, which, again, is pretty similar to that of his old bag.

But there’s one very big difference…

…because the Backpacker’s Closet is a very big bag.

After taking another look at the bag’s product page on Amazon, Seiji noticed that it lists the product’s dimensions as 100 centimeters (3.3 feet) in length by 68 centimeters (2.2 feet) in width.

The holding capacity is also a ridiculous 180 liters (47.6 gallons). However, that’s far too great a volume for Seiji to fill up with the stuff he carries around with him when he’s out and about. Whatever could he put in the bag to fill it up?

Himself, of course! Though the Backpacker’s Closet is indeed designed to be used as an extra-extra-extra-large backpack, Seiji says it also makes for a pretty nice, and very surreal, sleeping bag. “It’s a little stuffy, but it’s also warm, cozy, and relaxing” he assured us as we all gave him strange looks.

▼ This isn’t going to do anything to change Seiji’s girlfriend’s mom’s opinion that he’s a “weird” dude.

But while Seiji was happy, the rest of us were getting annoyed, seeing as how we now essentially had a head of Seiji cabbage sprouting from the middle of the floor of the SoraNews24 office. For the sake of those of us who had actual work to do, fellow writer P.K. Sanjun decided to take action.

Hoisting the bag up by its shoulder straps, he carried Seiji away from the center of the office, so that the rest of us could actually get across the room without having to step over Seiji. Seiji, meanwhile, was ecstatic.

“This is so much fun!” he called out. “It’s like riding inside a fluffy cloud…Wait, no! It’s just like when you’re a baby, and your mom straps you to her back as she goes about her business during the day. Ahhh…I can feel my sense of innocence and wonder coming back.”

At the same time as Seiji’s youthful joy was being rekindled, however, P.K. was feeling like an old man with a hernia, and so he cut the ride short, setting Seiji down as soon as he got to a corner of the office where Seiji wouldn’t be in the way anymore.

The bag’s shoulder straps held up impressively well during our unorthodox quality test, but we’re not sure they’d be able to sustain continued use like this, so no one else has picked up Seiji since P.K. put him down. We’re just hoping that he comes out of the sack and starts using his own legs again before the rest of us leave and the office shuts down for the New Year’s holiday.

Amazon screen capture: Amazon Japan
All other photos ©SoraNews24
[ Read in Japanese ]

Follow Casey on Twitter, where he’s still upset about San Dimas High School’s lack of lockers meaning he had to carry a 20-pound backpack every day in freshman year.

[ Read in Japanese ]