We’re glad he got his major break, but…

24-year old Masami Kuwata, the son of a famous baseball player who now goes by the name Matt Kuwata, became a worldwide sensation when his doll-like appearance became the subject of major discussion on the Internet. His smooth, porcelain-like features, huge eyes, and slim figure make him look as if he is an eternally youthful Ken doll, which naturally drew a generous following of starry-eyed fans in Japan.

Though he was previously a model, his new place in the spotlight has garnered him even more attention, and he managed to snag his first ever commercial gig promoting Japan’s famously delicious (and snarky) chocolate bar Black Thunder. In it, he appears as Black Thunder’s new mascot, Black Thunder Matt, who saves Japanese people from starving because they’ve been waiting in line for too long.

Through this commercial Black Thunder maintains its role as the Shade King and Japan continues to prove that it is the Land of Weird Commercials. It opens with a scene from a dystopian Japanese future, in which everyone is standing in line in a desolate and broken down Tokyo, waiting to enter a towering skyscraper on which “TAPIOCA” is written in pink neon letters.

▼ It a savage jab at Japanese people’s propensity to stand in line for anything, as well as their near-obsession with all things trendy.

The people, who are ostensibly “young people”, have been waiting in line for tapioca–which has recently experienced a boom in popularity in Japan–for one year. This we learn from a man who looks strangely like Japanese celebrity Ryuchell. The people are haggard, with dead eyes, holding their stomachs and slouching because they haven’t moved from the line in twelve months. One lady with a baby shouts, “I have no more diapers!” and a businessman brandishes his empty wallet, lamenting that it has only 30 yen inside. “Somebody…somebody help us!!!” he shouts to the sky.

His cries for help are heard by the Amusement Earth Defense Force Toyohashi Dream Research Lab–or rather, it picks up the “small hungry sounds” of the people in line. “We’ve confirmed small hungry sounds!” says a lab assistant, and after his partner calls for the leading researcher, he says they have no choice but to activate “Him.”

▼ Black Thunder Matt!!

And then begins an epic montage where Black Thunder Matt, with his Black Thunder eyebrows, awakens and flies off to save the people from standing in lines. “Please stop lining up,” he says upon landing in a blast of light. “You don’t have to do this kind of terrible thing anymore!” He blasts Black Thunder chocolates into every hungry person’s mouth (in a way that is oddly suggestive), and runs through the center of the line to knock them all out of it.

“Are you okay?” he asks one blushing, green-haired woman. “You can buy Black Thunder without lining up, you know. It’s even sold there. No matter where you are, it will always be by your side.” And then, for some reason, he kisses her crotch…you can’t make this stuff up.

So I think what we can take away from this bizarre commercial is that, if you get hungry while standing in line, Black Thunder Matt will come to save you. So maybe…bring a snack, because who knows what kind of weird things he’ll do next.

Source: YouTube/moviecollectionjp via Kinisoku
Images: YouTube/moviecollectionjp 
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