
The onsen trip: as beloved a relationship milestone as Christmas Eve and Valentine’s Day, but how long do you have to date before you bathe together?
Pretty much everyone in Japan loves hot springs, and hot springs can be found pretty much everywhere in Japan. So if you’re in a romantic relationship here, sooner or later you and your partner will probably be heading out to an onsen (as hot springs are called in Japanese) together.
But the question then becomes whether you’ll be in the onsen together. While the vast majority of hot spring bathing facilities in Japan are gender-segregated, a few still have konyoku baths, where men and women soak together. Konyoku hot springs are mainly found in especially remote rural areas, but what just about every moderate-sized or larger hot spring in Japan has are kashikiri baths, which you rent out for an additional fee for just you and your companion’s private use.
To be clear, kashikiri baths aren’t love hotel rooms, and doing the deed while in the water is a strictly prohibited faux pas. But even if your hands and hips aren’t supposed to be busy, your eyes most likely will be, since in Japan you go into the hot spring naked. Even if you’ve been on a few dates, sharing a cozy-dimension tub for 30 minutes with no clothes on is its own unique sort of intimacy, so at what point in the relationship is it acceptable to say “Hey, let’s hop in the hot spring together?”
To find out, Japanese travel provider Air Trip conducted a survey, gathering responses from 710 men and 401 women and finding a pretty big gap between the sexes. Among men, the most common response, from 25.5 percent of male participants, was “Taking a hot spring bath together is OK even before we’re in an exclusive relationship.” On the other hand, women were far less likely to give the green light to a konyoku or kashikiri onsen dip before being in a committed relationship, with just 6.5 percent saying they were OK with such a bathing arrangement.
Women’s number-one response, at 33.7 percent, was “after we’ve been in a relationship for over half a year,” which was also the number-two response for men (22 percent). Meanwhile, women’s number-two response came from the chaste 13.5 percent who feel “we have to be married, how long our relationship has been doesn’t matter,” which was also men’s number-three response (13.8 percent).
The complete responses were:
● OK even before we’re in a relationship
Men: 25.5 percent
Women: 6.5 percent
● Less than one month into the relationship
Men: 8.7 percent
Women: 8.5 percent
● 1-2 months into the relationship
Men: 5.6 percent
Women: 8.5 percent
● 2-3 months into the relationship
Men: 7.7 percent
Women: 8.2 percent
● 3-4 months into the relationship
Men: 10.4 percent
Women: 9.7 percent
● 4-5 months into the relationship
Men: 1.3 percent
Women: 2.5 percent
● 5-6 months into the relationship
Men: 3 percent
Women: 2.2 percent
● More than 6 months into the relationship
Men: 22 percent
Women: 33.7 percent
● Doesn’t matter how long we’ve been dating. We have to be married
Men: 13.8 percent
Women: 13.5 percent
● Other
Men: 2 percent
Women: 6.7 percent
It’s worth pointing out that while the most common bathing-together answer from women was “after we’ve been dating for six months,” that doesn’t mean that Japanese women are averse to a day at the onsen with a guy they’ve been with for less than half a year. When asked when it’s appropriate to go to a hot spring together and use separate baths, 17 percent said that they were fine doing so before establishing an exclusive relationship, with 41.4 percent open to an onsen date at the three-month mark and the majority, 56.4 percent, at four months.
Source: Newscast
Top image: Pakutaso
Insert images: Pakutaso (1, 2)
● Want to hear about SoraNews24’s latest articles as soon as they’re published? Follow us on Facebook and Twitter!
[ Read in Japanese ]
Follow Casey on Twitter, where his favorite onsen date remains the one where the clock in the kashirkiri bath broke and he got to stay in for an extra 15 minutes for free.
[ Read in Japanese ]



Free literal forest bathing in Hokkaido is a hot spring experience you’ll never forget【Photos】
How old is too old for a boy to go into the women’s hot spring bath in Japan?
Saying a prayer can open a passage between men’s and women’s baths at this Japanese hot spring
Eight unforgettable hot springs, as recommended by Japan’s “Professor Bath”
Sapporo lowers age at which kids are barred from opposite sex’s bath at hot springs, public baths
Japan approves foreign resident visa renewal fee increases of up to 967 percent, starts soon
Japan tripled its departure tax to fund tourism but is using the money on cherry blossoms and bears
Tokaido Lumière Express: Stay overnight inside the Shinkansen from Osaka to Tokyo
McDonald’s Japan reveals exclusive new Tsukimi moon viewing collection for 2026
Godiva Japan hops into tsukimi season with bunny and moon-themed chocolate assortments
Farewell Final Ceremony announced for Tokyo’s life-size Gundam statue, will stream live
Starting this fall, you’ll be able to take a Pokémon Jet flight to Japan
Ministop brings bulked up Okinawan-style rice balls to mainland Japan for one week only
Nike x One Piece collection brings Devil Fruits to sneakers and streetwear in Japan
Domino’s puts a new spin on moon viewing with Tsukimi dango-inspired tarts in Japan
7-year-old boy left behind on Mt. Fuji by his own dad
Sushi Bus: Japan’s first conveyor-belt bus lets you eat sushi while sightseeing around Tokyo
Anime fans can now wear a Seiko watch inspired by Japan’s One Piece Shinkansen
Foreign hiker on Mt. Fuji loses consciousness and dies, becoming climbing season’s second fatality
We recommend not buying one pack of Japan’s new convenience store corn soup-flavor fried chicken
Police in Japan looking for who’s responsible for dumping 80 loaves of bread on side of road [Video]
Japan’s double-decker portable rice cooker/bento maker is better than ever with new version
12-year-old British girl who went missing in Tokyo found safe after visiting anime sites around Yokohama
Air-conditioned dress shirts arrive in Japan to save working professionals from sweltering heat
Pokémon Center Online designates first Pokémon items that will require Japanese ID card to buy
Japanese toilet aims to attract foreign tourists but not everybody is happy about it
Tokyo’s newest viral dessert is like a Japanese parfait inside a bread bun [Taste test]
New Japanese vending machine at Shinkansen station sells cups of ice on platform
Study finds hundreds of people in Indonesia legally named after Naruto, Inuyasha, other anime stars
Japan announces sudden 400-percent increase in visa fees for foreigners entering the country
Japan’s human washing machines will go on sale to general public, demos to be held in Tokyo
Studio Ghibli has a new anime out, and there’s only one place in the world where you can see it
Starbucks Japan releases new drinkware and goods for Valentine’s Day
Starbucks Japan releases new sakura goods and drinkware for cherry blossom season 2026
Japan’s newest Shinkansen has no seats…or passengers [Video]
Tokyo subway installing new ticket gates that don’t accept payment through Suica or other IC cards
Japanese ninja certification exam attracts 131 candidates from Japan and abroad
Salomon releases Japan-exclusive Mt. Fuji hiking gear that doubles as an amazing souvenir
Put sesame oil in your coffee? Japanese maker says it’s the best way to start your day【Taste test】
Love Capybaras? Now you can take a hot bath while watching them bathe!
Five of Japan’s most unique snow-covered hot spring bathing sites
Tokyo hot spring allows guests with tattoos to bathe… with some very odd restrictions
Take the “Public” Out of Public Bathing and Make a Natural Hot Spring in the Comfort of Your Own Home
Dog’s Onsen: Give your pet a traditional Japanese hot spring bath
Nearly half of young Japanese men in survey have never had a girlfriend, zero-boyfriend women rise too
Tokyo changes age limit for kids going into opposite sex’s bath at hot springs and sento
A private onsen bath with a karaoke machine is two of Japan’s best things with zero embarrassment
Less than one in four surveyed Japanese men has a girlfriend, over one in three women has a beau
You can make your own hot spring bath at this river in central Japan【Japan travel】
Do Japanese women check out each other’s lingerie at the hot springs? Survey investigates
Oita lures travelers with wonderful montage of synchronized hot spring bathing 【Video】
Sapporo police arrest 50-year-old man for entering women’s public bath
The 10 best hotel hot springs in Japan, as chosen by Japanese travelers
Ridiculously powerful hot spring bath in Japan earns both our respect and our fear【Videos】
Tokyo likely to reduce age limit on kids in opposite-sex public baths, report says