They say you should never do something for free if you’re good enough at it to get paid, and apparently that applies to making stool too.

“There’s value inside of me” is a nice, life-affirming philosophy to have, one that’s sure to boost your sense of happiness and mental wellbeing. However, it turns out that there may also be something of economic value literally inside of you, and specifically within your bowls.

In April, Japanese pharmaceutical company Metagen Therapeutics opened a new facility in the town of Tsuruoka, Yamagata Prefecture. It’s called the Tsuruoka Stool Donation Room, and yes, it’s a place to poop, but its name doesn’t quite tell the whole story. What does it leave out? The fact that they’ll pay you for your poop.

▼ Tsuruoka Stool Donation Room

We’re not talking chump change here, either. Metagen is offering a rate of 5,000 yen (US$34.50) per poo.

However, this doesn’t mean that you can simply saunter in, take a dump, and hold out your hopefully freshly washed hand to get paid. Again, Metagen is a pharmaceutical company, not a federation of fecal fetishists, and what they really want isn’t your poo, per se, but the intestinal/gut bacteria that can be extracted from it and used to make medicine. They’re not just looking for any poo, either, as the company says that only 5 to 10 percent of people have poo that’s high-quality enough for this purpose.

Because of that, there’s a thorough screening process designed to ensure that only the best of the best turds fall into the Tsuruoka Stool Donation Room’s special donation toilets.

The first step is to apply online here through Metagen’s Chomusubi online registration system. Applicants must be aged between 18 and 65 and in good health. Those who pass the online evaluation stage will then be contacted for an in-person medical evaluation at a hospital in Tsuruoka before successful candidates are selected to provide poo at the donation room.

▼ There’s even a lounge for donors, who can relax in the comforting atmosphere of being in the company of some of Japan’s top poopers.

The program’s terms say that donors will be compensated with a 5,000-yen Amazon gift card per donation, implying that you may be called upon to drop multiple deuces. The terms also say that candidates should be able to undergo the screening examination process every two to three months, which means that if you’ve got elite-class poop, there’s a chance you could be earning 30,000 yen a year from your brown gold, which is an even better deal than converting your blood into anime merchandise.

Source: PR Times, Nihon Keizai Shimbun via Hachima Kiko
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