Cunte Jelly Trick and other lenses’ names might be too clever for their own good.

In many ways, Japan has a very playful attitude about language. The Japanese language is richly expressive, with all sorts of nuanced vocabulary and colorful onomatopoeia. There’s a great enthusiasm for foreign loanwords, especially when trying to lend an air of stylish modernism or trendy fun, and when it comes to thinking up names for brands or products, ones that might not seem obvious at first, but have some sort of half-concealed logic behind them, become kind of like a secret handshake that create a sense of community between the company and fans.

So with Japanese contact lens maker Ace getting set to launch a new sub-brand this month, they knew they had to give it a name that both had pizazz and conveyed their concept for the line. As one of Japan’s largest players in the field, no doubt Ace’s marketing and product design teams spent many long, hard hours workshopping countless candidates, but in the end, what did they decide on?

Cunte.

Judging from the bold, attention-grabbing logo and recruitment of model Amu Nigemizu to be the face, and eyes, of Cunte, it would appear that Ace is very confident in their decision. And yet, much like when a different Japanese company chose to name their mascot character “Fukuppy,” it would seem that no one on the Cunte team is particularly familiar with the cruder corners of English slang.

▼ Cunte Jelly Trick might look like the misspelled, or perhaps silent-E-classy, title of an adult video, but it’s actually just the name of the line’s shimmery, watery-looking contact lens.

So how did this happen? Well, Ace is aiming the Cunte line at young, fashionable women, with the lenses’ colors and sparkly effects being their major selling points. According to their press release, Cunte’s contact lenses will get your heart excitedly racing, and the Japanese onomatopoeia for that sensation, especially if it’s of a girlish nature, is kyun. Kyun is pronounced with a long-U vowel sound, with aurally aligns it with “cute,” which also fits with the atmosphere the brand is going for.

▼ Cunte Heroin Core’s highlight effects promise to give you the sweet look of a shojo manga protagonist.

Because it’s meant as a combination of “kyun” and “cute,” Cunte is, therefore supposed to be pronounced with a long-U too, basically like if you slipped an N into the middle of “cute.”

▼ Cunte Teddy Mate is meant to subtly enhance the perceived size of your pupils, for a sophisticated appearance.

Unfortunately, it’s unlikely that many English speakers, or those familiar with the language’s vulgarities, will see “Cunte” and land upon Ace’s desired pronunciation. There aren’t that many words in English that begin with “cun-“, and among those that do exist, “cunning,” with a short U, is really the only one that’s commonly used.

▼ Come at me, “cuneiform” champions!

As such, the odds are, overwhelmingly, that English speakers’ first instinct will be to pronounce “Cunte” with a short U, and then mentally flip a coin to decide between treating the E as silent (resulting in a perfect pronunciation overlap) or to voice it like the letter Y, making it sound like a made-up adjective form of the term for female genitalia. What’s more, Webster’s dictionary actually describes the etymology of the modern vulgarity as coming from the Middle English word “cunte,” which has the same meaning.

Since we’ve come this far, we may as well take a look at the rest of the Cunte offerings, which are Mellow Berry, a medium-width brown contact lens, and Bab Gram, an extra-glossy brown contact.

▼ Oddly enough, the “Mellow” Berry photo features a knife with a somewhat unsettling streak of, hopefully, strawberry syrup on it.

▼ The linguistic rationale behind “Bab Gram” remains a mystery.

Of course, because Ace is in the contact lens business, and, at the moment, the Cunte line is only planned for sale in Japan, the name isn’t really a problem, as it’s unlikely to cause confusion, offense, or bouts of snickering among Japanese consumers when the line goes on sale February 27. Calpis’ name, for example, hasn’t kept it from becoming one of Japan’s most popular soft drinks. However, much like how Calpis is called “Calpico” in many international territories, Ace will probably want to consider a rebrand should they ever decide to expand Cunte sales to more English-prevalent regions.

Source: PR Times, Merriam-Webster (1, 2)
Top image: PR Times
Insert images: PR Times, Pakutaso
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