It seems the days of keeping novels or magazines on a stand by the toilet are slipping away from us as more and more people are taking their smartphones into the loo to pass the time.  On top of this, social media has paved the way for everyone to update the world on all their daily minutiae.

And what could be minuter than broadcasting our bowel evacuations to the world.  On an individual basis such information might be meaningless to others but when analyzed en masse we can learn something about the pooping habits of a nation.

Using an app called TwiTraq, we were able to scour all of Japan to find who was tweeting about their toilet time.  This app was able to shed light on when and where the most people where enlightening the rest of us as to their regularity.

According to TwiTraq here’s what’s happening in Japan:

■ The Days Most People
Say They’re Pooping:         1) Friday               2) Sunday            3) Tuesday
■ The Time Most People
Say They’re Pooping:         1) 6:00pm              2) 5:00pm            3) 7:00pm
■ Prefectures of Japan
where the Most People
Say Their Pooping:             1)Miyagi               2) Akita                 3)Ibaraki/Tochigi/Nara
■ Ratio of Men to Women
Saying they Are Pooping:  Men 75% : Women 25%

So for those gamblers out there so depraved that they can find a bookie for this kind of thing; put all your money on a Japanese male from Miyagi prefecture to tweet about taking a dump on a Friday at around 6:00.

This kind of information is probably impossible to get in English due to the infinite ways our language expresses baking brownies, dropping a deuce, or laying lumber.  Luckily in Japanese there’s a trend especially used on social networks like twitter to say “…nau” same as the English “now”.  For example if I’m having lunch I’d tweet RANCHINAU (lunch now).

Thanks to this fad, most people tweeting about their defecations do so by saying “UNKONAU” (Crapping Now) thereby giving the rest of us a previously unobtainable glimpse into their collective movements.  The only question that remains is why people in Miyagi are so vocal about doing the doo.

TwiTraq’s Data on UNKONAU: 「うんこなう」の検索結果 (In Japanese and you need a Twitter account to access)

▼There’s a lot more people tweeting about pooping than you’d think.

[ Read in Japanese ]