cheating top

Here’s a shocking fact: Despite decades of gender stereotypes insisting that men are disgusting pigs that would gladly hump anything without too much back hair even if they’re already in a relationship, recent studies suggest women are cheating about as much as men (presumably also provided there’s not too much back hair).

One reason for the persistent stereotype may be that women are just a bit smarter and better at hiding their affairs than men are. While a cheating man is liable to show up to his SO’s house with a pair of panties on his head, cheating women are apparently much more discreet, a Japanese survey of 50 unfaithful women reveals. The Niconico News survey also offers a few tips for girls who are currently cheating or who may be considering a little love on the side in the future:

Don’t use your phone for texting


The survey reveals a lot of guys have a tendency to check a girl’s phone for suspicious activity (which probably says a lot about them too, we suppose) so respondents suggested cheating women keep contact with their fling to computer e-mail, which can be more easily password protected and hidden from view. Also, with the advent of new texting services, such as LINE, that can turn your phone’s screen on and display new messages automatically, cheating women (and men, too!) are at greater risk than ever of having a badly timed text ruin their relationship.

Meet your fling on weekdays

This one only works if your man is a workaholic. The girls surveyed suggested that it was much easier to keep a fling secret if they met their other guy on weekdays, when the boyfriend or spouse was too pre-occupied with work to pay attention to what the girls were up to. Obviously, you should take into account what kind of job your boyfriend is doing; if he’s a pizza delivery boy, you’re probably safe on weekends too.

Don’t tell anyone your address

Doubly important if you’ve got more than one affair going at a time; you definitely don’t want to show up at home one day with five guys crowded awkwardly on the couch waiting to have a serious talk with you. In fact, it’s kind of common sense to not give out your address to anyone you don’t know intimately (no, the other “intimately”), because there are plenty of crazy men and women out there who will show up unannounced at your door with a skinned rabbit in hand.

Be careful of smells


For men, the traditional giveaway that they’ve been cheating is the classic lipstick stain on the collar or suspicious perfume smell on their clothes. But women need to be careful of smells too. Cigarette odor is an obvious alarm bell if your guy isn’t a smoker. Plus, let’s face it: a lot of dudes have their own unique, shall we say, “aroma” that could get you in trouble at home.

Call your guys by the same name

By far the most unique and sinister clever advice the women gave is to call your fling the same name as your partner, so you don’t end up accidentally uttering the wrong one to the wrong guy in the throes of passion. We assume this means giving them both the same pet name like “Sugarlumps” or something, because it’s probably more trouble than it’s worth to get both guys on board with you calling them “Jeff.”

If we’re being totally honest, while all this advice seems smart and useful for the stated purpose, we can’t really condone cheating regardless of your gender and the best way to not get caught is to not cheat in the first place. And if you are one of those free love people who thinks cheating isn’t a big deal, do your guy a favor and ask him in advance how he feels about open relationships – before he gets too committed to you. Oh, and guys, uh… make sure your girlfriend doesn’t read this article.

Source: NicoNico News
Images: Wikimedia Commons (Featured, Inset 2)