The internet is a vast ocean of small infographics, flow charts, and images with the aim to succinctly present the truths of life to the masses. However, not every clever doodle is worth being held in our hard drives to be pulled out during a relevant discussion later on. These images sink into the deep abyss of the internet ocean, only to be found when James Cameron finally gets a good enough sub.

Let’s watch as one humble netizen submits their typical Japanese university seating arrangement to others. Will the chart hit home with other students, or will it fall flat? First let’s look at an English translation of it.

 The Japanese University Seating Arrangement

We can infer from this chart that the front rows are occupied by the “brainers” and “loners;” two sub-cultures separated by IQ but united in the fact they go to class to learn and get the hell out as soon as possible. They arrive early and don’t want other people to get in their field of view distracting them.

Rounding out the other end of the room we have the “groups of girls,” “groups of gross otaku,” and “jocks” who presumably arrive late and may want the extra buffer space to engage in sleeping, chatting, or Puzzle & Dragons without detection. By the way, if you want to get an idea of what a “gross otaku” is, I googled it, and hand-to-god this image came up. Sorry, Mr. Sato.

In the middle are the “normal people” who, true to their name, don’t want to be seen as any of these groups and ride the cultural fence in the middle of the classroom. Finally, like any ecosystem, waste material is filtered towards the back of the room where it biodegrades over the centuries.


When the chart was posted online, the immediate reaction was, “Wow, that’s a great attendance rate!” Anonymous commenters began to pick apart the seating with comments of, “I’m garbage,” and one written in decidedly male tones saying, “I’m a group of girls.”

However, the biggest issue came up over the chart’s use of the word “teacher” (sensei). “You don’t call them ‘teacher’ in university,” wrote one commenter which led to others chiming in.

“You don’t say ‘teacher’ normally?”
“I think to say ‘Professor’ [kyoju] sounds too dramatic.”
“Usually I see it written as ‘lecturer’ [koshi] in the syllabus.”
“You [previous commenter] have Asperger’s.”
“I just call everyone ‘teacher’ because it’s hard to remember who’s officially a ‘lecturer’ or a ‘professor’ or an ‘assistant professor’ one by one.”

When the dust settled on the teacher debate everyone forgot what they were talking about in the first place and went on with their lives. And so, it appears the Japanese university seating arrangement meme candidate will likely not live on in the years to come and settle to the bottom of the internet where it will be fed on by sea cucumbers and other invertebrates.

Source: Ayashii News (Japanese)
Top Image Background: Wikipedia – Kitadake3193