Don’t you even think of trying to take it away from him.
As we’ve seen on multiple occasions in the past, Suzumaro, the cat owned by Japanese Twitter user @kokesukepapa, tends to think everything in this world belongs to him. Previously, it’s claimed @kokesukepapa’s young son’s chair and body heat as its own, and has also attempted to add a pack of the family’s kimchi to its personal assets.
But it looks like all of those were nothing compared to what Suzumaro truly desires: dominion over the world’s tissue boxes.
相変わらず、妖怪がティッシュ箱を潰しながら威圧してくるため、
— こけ助パパ (@kokesukepapa) April 12, 2016
ティッシュ使えません pic.twitter.com/U82xFSvMEB
鼻かみたいんだが、妖怪がティッシュ箱を潰してるため、
— こけ助パパ (@kokesukepapa) April 1, 2016
トイレまで行ってトイレットペーパーで鼻をかむ飼い主 pic.twitter.com/RfcWANKvKN
ご飯食べようと思ったけど、テーブルの上で「妖怪の集会」が開催されているようだし、真ん中にいるリーダー格の灰色の妖怪が、ティッシュ潰しながらメッチャにらんできて怖いので、テーブルで食事するのは諦めます pic.twitter.com/tsvDotE8Y7
— こけ助パパ (@kokesukepapa) March 24, 2016
Whenever @kokesukepapa sets out a new box of tissues, in short order Suzumaro saunters over and lies atop it, while making sure to put enough of its body weight on the box to partially crush it. What’s more, it gives some seriously smouldering stink eye while it does it.
▼ “It’s got an expression like a demon while it crushes the box. I’m starting to see those ears as horns instead.”
鬼のような表情でティッシュ箱を潰している。
— こけ助パパ (@kokesukepapa) February 29, 2016
耳が「ツノ」に見えてきた。 pic.twitter.com/eL39KTykmv
▼ “I want to say, ‘Hey, don’t crush the box!’, but it looks so angry that I’m too scared to correct it.”
「いいかげんティッシュ箱つぶすんじゃあないよ!」って叱りたいけど、
— こけ助パパ (@kokesukepapa) January 15, 2016
なぜか怒りの表情でティッシュ箱つぶしてる為、怖くて叱れない pic.twitter.com/DjBDca3wrs
As a matter of fact, @kokesukepapa finds his pet so intimidating as it sits there like a role-playing game dragon on a pile of treasure that he’s taken to just going to the bathroom and grabbing a piece of toilet paper when he needs to blow his nose.
▼ It’s not entirely clear why the cat feels the need to crush the tissue boxes, but maybe it’s trying to reshape them and create the perfect pillow.
我が家では、灰色の妖怪様がティッシュ箱を枕としておつかいになられている時、ティッシュの使用は控えなければなりません
— こけ助パパ (@kokesukepapa) March 22, 2016
さらに今日は、テーブルの端っこギリギリにティッシュ枕を置いて寝るという大技を披露してくれています pic.twitter.com/I2hEMhoyrx
Of course, given Suzumaro’s personality, none of this is too surprising. His avarice isn’t limited to material possessions, either. He clearly also hungers for all of the attention, as he mugs for the camera…
「パソコンに触れた瞬間、咬みついてやる」と言わんばかりの妖怪が、
— こけ助パパ (@kokesukepapa) April 10, 2016
パソコン横でスタンバイしてるため、パソコンに触るのが怖いです。
(案の定、手を出した瞬間に咬まれました) pic.twitter.com/BtGVt5Omk1
and seems to take issue with the lens being pointed at anyone else.
▼ Oh, you wanted to shoot a cute video of your wife and kid? Well enjoy the finale: my butthole!
ママが子供に絵本を読み聞かせてあげている所を撮影してたら、露出狂の妖怪がお尻&玉々を見せつけにきた時の映像です pic.twitter.com/ZCw441nG5m
— こけ助パパ (@kokesukepapa) March 19, 2016
Still, Suzumaro isn’t in a bad mood all the time. Just look how cheerful and cute he gets when his owner scratches him under the chin!
ティッシュ潰しながら、めっちゃにらんでくるくせに、
— こけ助パパ (@kokesukepapa) February 6, 2016
手を出すと甘えてくるツンデレな灰色 pic.twitter.com/vIDaVnmJcE
But this being Suzumaro, sometimes even his grins have a distressingly evil aura to them.
▼ We don’t know what this cat has planned, but it’s definitely something diabolical.
身体をひねりながらグリグリとティッシュ箱を潰しています
— こけ助パパ (@kokesukepapa) March 21, 2016
新しいティッシュ出すと、必ず妖怪が潰します pic.twitter.com/9L1aXsbvcg
Source: Togech, Twitter/@kokesukepapa

Japanese cat owns all the things and he won’t be letting you near his fan this summer
Adorable Japanese kitty is hungry, and he’s not going to take things sitting down【Photos/Videos】
2016 on track to be (subjectively) worst year yet, so here’s a bunch of amazing cats!【Photos】
Japanese cat becomes blanket, warms sleeping baby’s tummy and our hearts 【Photos】
Here is a collection of sweet and silly cats to help warm you this winter 【Photos】
Family Mart commits “reverse fraud” in new Giant All-Star Festival, and we couldn’t be happier
New Square Enix Cafe reveals Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest, Nier, and Fullmetal Alchemist menu items
New Tokyo sweets shop offers 648 different mochi ice cream dumpling combinations
Godiva melts minds by releasing a new corn chocolate drink in Japan
Shinto shrine’s night sky firefly sweets are Japan’s newest breathtaking, mouthwatering desserts.
Starbucks adds new Fruit Gummy sweets to stores in Japan
Retro fashion magazines from Tokyo’s street market remind Mr. Sato of a special gift from his dad
Gun found in Japanese convenience store restroom, traced to forgetful on-duty cop
This shop combines traditional Japanese sweets with…mayonnaise?!?[Taste test]
Ghibli’s No Face continues to demonstrate his generous character growth by dispensing soy sauce
Even at twice regular Daiso price, this handy item is still great for summer travel in Japan
Japanese convenience store shows us how to dress for the rainy season
Kyoto public junior high school becomes first in Japan with a hoodie school uniform
Uniqlo reveals third round of massive 100-year-anniversary manga T-shirts for Jump’s Shueisha
Japanese rice cooker recipe gives us a tasty new way to enjoy vegetables and wieners
Tokyo’s Pokémon Cafe reopens this month with brand-new sweets and Pikachu show
Starbucks Japan unveils new Frappuccino showcasing “mottainai” culture
Tourists brave Typhoon Jangmi to queue at two famous sites in Tokyo
Osaka is hosting a “hentai” event, but it’s probably not what you think
Tokyo’s life-size Gundam anime mecha statue will be removed this summer
Ichiraku Ramen-inspired ramen sets from Naruto anime pay homage to Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura
Kanji ice cream becomes a sell-out hit in Japan
New official Ghibli anime food cookbook will teach you how to make Ponyo’s ramen and more
Japanese convenience store Lawson launches new “mini supermarket” chain, L Minimart
Japan’s real-world Pokémon hot spring’s first photos are here![Photos]
Japan’s human washing machines will go on sale to general public, demos to be held in Tokyo
Starbucks Japan releases new drinkware and goods for Valentine’s Day
We deeply regret going into this tunnel on our walk in the mountains of Japan
Starbucks Japan releases new sakura goods and drinkware for cherry blossom season 2026
Japan’s newest Shinkansen has no seats…or passengers [Video]
Major Japanese hotel chain says reservations via overseas booking sites may not be valid
Put sesame oil in your coffee? Japanese maker says it’s the best way to start your day【Taste test】
Japan reportedly adding Japanese language skill requirement to most common foreigner work visa
Japan’s 5.3 million beautiful Hitachi Nemophila flowers are now in full bloom[Photos]
Pokémon and Ikea Japan cross over into each other’s worlds with collaboration events
Japanese cat cafe delights people around the world with adorable kitty cosplay
Japan’s most cold-blooded frog breaks romantic mood in a hilarious way【Video】
【Monday Kickstart】See the silly kitty and more vying for the prize in the “Pet Bragging Contest”
Japan’s favourite sleeping cat is back and this time he’s found a new surprising place to snooze
Japanese kitty picks a crazy spot for its daily catnap, becomes local celebrity【Video, photos】
We’ll take our kitties to go! Cats hanging out in bags will brighten your day 【Pics】
Japanese cat enjoys walks in the rain with his adorable tiny umbrella【Photos】
Japanese ballerino cat dances his way into the hearts of millions across the globe【Pics】
Move over, Grumpy Cat, you’ve got competition in Japan!
Japanese dad/otaku worries he’s an embarrassment to his kids, son tells him exactly how he feels