A real highlight for the Pretty Cure series but a lowlight for the record-keeping group.

On 27 October, the latest feature film based on the long running anime series Pretty Cure was released. Titled Hugtto Pretty Cure Futari Pretty Cure All Stars Memories, it is a special chapter in the franchise, commemorating its 15th year.

For those unfamiliar with the series, it tends to reboot on a near yearly basis with an all-new cast of characters but retaining the same overall themes of magical teen girls battling monsters with an array of weapons that can later be marketed as toys.

Fifteen years of reboots adds up to a lot of characters, 55 to be exact, and this movie is the first to include all of them together. For fans of the series, it’s a dream come true, but for the makers of Pretty Cure it’s become a place in the record books.

Hugtto Pretty Cure Futari Pretty Cure All Stars Memories has gotten a Guinness World Record on its opening day, and no it isn’t for most redundancy in a movie title — that honor still goes to Se7en. Rather, it has gotten the record for “Most Magical Warriors in an Animated Motion Picture.”

As if the movie itself weren’t enough cause for fans to celebrate, they also came out online with messages of congratulations for the franchise as well as other observations such as:

“Fans must be very pleased!”
“I saw the movie and was moved.”
“With so many warriors it sounds like a violent film.”
“By the way, what other anime has ‘magical warriors?'”
“It’s getting crowded in there.”
“Brilliant idea! They can just break their own record every year.”

However, with all due respect for Pretty Cure, this is a terrible record for a very simple reason. Guinness World Records are meant to be given to human or animal accomplishments, like excellence in sport, business, or blowing bubbles with a tarantula in one’s mouth.

But adding 55 magical warriors is more of a decision than a real accomplishment. According to Guinness, the criteria is that all warriors must have magical powers, names, and lines of dialogue. None of it mentions anything about the quality or performance of the movie.

So all I’d have to do is fart out a screenplay for The 100 Wizard Samurai of Fu-Kyu Sakkasu, and boom I’m in the books. In fact, despite the inherent crappiness of my story, I now have a really good chance of a studio picking it up, because now I can guarantee them a Guinness World Record upon its release. You can’t beat free publicity like that!

Luckily there’s a simple fix to this. All Guinness has to do is redefine the record as “Most Magical Warriors in a Successful Anime Film,” and then define “successful” as a certain amount of ticket sales. This way, Pretty Cure‘s record can be for an actual accomplishment and also be protected from conniving opportunists like myself.

Hopefully, Guinness takes my advice and protects the integrity of the organization we have entrusted to honor the very finest of balloon-busting butts and kicking yourself in the head.

Source: Nikkan Sports, Merumo, My Game News Flash
Top Image: YouTube/Pretty Cure Official YouTube Channel