If you find yourself answering girls’ messages like this, you’re probably a creeper.

Japan is home to both the most useful (like this fan capsule toy) and the most useless capsule toys in the world, and we’ll give you just one guess as to which one this article is about. Our journey begins at Yokohama World Porters, where inside, you’ll find the largest collection of capsule toy machines in Japan.

▼ The Capsule Toy Store doesn’t take up the whole building, but it does occupy a fair bit of space.

Our reporter Mr. Sato found himself browsing through the machines here, and he came across something he’d never seen before: Kuso Ripu Ojisan Badges.

“Kuso ripu ojisan” literally translates to “Shit Reply Middle-aged Man” but the term itself, which became popular on Twitter around this time last year, is commonly used to refer to middle-aged men who send discomforting messages to girls online. They range from slightly awkward to decidedly creepy.

▼ Some of the phrases available on the Kuso Ripu Ojisan Badges translate to things like: “I’m super good at massages!” and “Are you still busy?? You should relax once in a while!“

▼ Mr. Sato, who’s in the ojisan age bracket but not a creeper, picked up three of them.

When he opened them up, he found they were even cringier than expected, yet so accurate! The first phrase he got was a seemingly harmless standard of creepers:

▼ “Just kidding! (sweat mark)“

We’ve all used this at some point in our lives, but when middle-aged men use it like this, it’s usually to cover up something outright or borderline creepy. It only gets worse from here.

▼ “I love you too (heart smiley)“

Yeah, that’s definitely a red flag to stop replying or to hit that “block button”. That leads us into Mr. Sato’s final prize:

▼ “Why’d you stop replying?“

If you have to ask why someone has stopped replying, you probably already know you’ve done something wrong. With all three of his prizes in hand, Mr. Sato decided to arrange them into a typical kuso ripu ojisan conversation (or monologue).

▼ “I love you too (heart smiley)” “Just kidding! (sweat mark)” “Why’d you stop replying?“

Raise your hand if this has ever happened to you…or if you’ve ever done this to someone. We can’t speak for Mr. Sato, but we do know what he thought about these badges after he decided to try them on for himself:

▼ In a slightly different arrangement this time…

▼ “Why would someone make these?”

A very good question, Mr. Sato. A very good question. We’d also like to know who made these peeing Shiba Inu toys.

Photos ©SoraNews24
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[ Read in Japanese ]