And learns a little about the joys of womanhood.

As we have seen plenty of times, Japan’s vast array of capsule machine toys truly do have something for everyone, from aspiring paramedics to aspiring black belts. But with all that variety it can be hard to find the right figure of a urinating animal or public telephone to suit your tastes.

This has brought about the advent of capsule toy specialty stores such as Gacha Gacha no Mori, a chain that can be found in shopping malls across the country. What makes this shop special is that it caters to adult women specifically.

▼ YouTuber 1D & Yu-pon goes on a 10,000 yen shopping spree at Gacha Gacha no Mori

As seen from the video above, there is a wide range of items available from animal figures to squeezable rubber pastries, and even the occasional S&M rabbit figure to keep things saucy.

Seeing all this, our reporter Mr. Sato had another one of his brilliant ideas. If he could infiltrate Gacha Gacha no Mori and see what items were available, he could learn more about the mysterious heart of a woman and understand what they want. It’d be just like in that Mel Gibson movie, Lethal Weapon III.

Luckily, a new location had just opened in the Olinas Mall in Tokyo’s Sumida Ward on 16 October so Mr. Sato filled his pockets with coins and headed on over.

Sure enough, the sign in front of the shop declared that this was a “capsule toy store for adult women to enjoy” and although the decor had a unisex feel at a glance, the height of many machines were surely out of reach for children.

▼ “A capsule toy store for adult women to enjoy”

Our 46-year-old reporter strolled through the forest of machines and saw many familiar items like Sesame Street figures and Disney Princess-themed toys and accessories.

His brain was overclocking itself, trying to compile a model of the female psyche, when suddenly his eye caught a glimpse of something that completely derailed his train of thought, killing 10 brain cells and injuring 26.

Mr. Sato: “Oh hot damn! Mu!!!”

Mu was a hugely popular occult magazine when Mr. Sato was young. It dealt with all sorts of paranormal topics such as psychic phenomena, UFOs, conspiracy theories, and cryptids. The machine was offering pouches to hold OOPArt (“out-of-place artifacts” that suggest the presence of time travelers or advanced aliens in ancient times) and decorative rolls of tape with Mongolian death worms printed on it.

No too far from there was a machine with keychains that resembled ads for old loan-shark companies from the 1980s. Many a sake-soaked pachinko fiend sold their souls to these places, and now they were a hot accessory for women.

At this point, Mr. Sato was getting hazy about why he had come to Gacha Gacha Mori in the first place. It started to come back to him as he perused a row of tiny stuffed animals, when suddenly…

Mr. Sato: “Supaida-Maaaaannnn!!!”

Yes, here in the capsule toy store for adult women was a machine with figures from the delightfully misguided 70s Japanese TV adaptation of Spider-Man, complete with motorcycle chases, machine gun battles, and a giant robot.

So, in conclusion, our reporter’s analysis of Gacha Gacha no Mori found that women were basically a bunch of ancient-alien hunting, web-slinging, degenerate gamblers. He had already assumed as much, but it was good to have confirmation.

He made sure to pick up a Spider-Man figure for his wife before heading home. She would be no doubt thrilled that he had gotten the Leopardon figure.

He felt proud to have taken the time to understand women better, not only because his wife would be more likely to give up the location of her OOPArts, but because it was his duty as a husband and provider.

Shop information
Gacha Gacha no Mori, Olinas Kinshicho Store / ガチャガチャの森 オリナス錦糸町店
Address: Tokyo-to, Sumida-shi, Taihei 4-1-2 3rd floor
東京都墨田区太平4丁目1-2 3F
Open: 10 a.m.-9 p.m.

Photos ©SoraNews24
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