Doesn’t tell him where they’re going or why, but has a very good reason.
When you notice that your spouse or sweetheart has been working too hard, it’s only natural to want to do something for them after they clock out for the day. Maybe you cook their favorite comfort food to give them a morale boost after they come home, or take on a bit of their housework duties so they can relax a bit more before bedtime.
Or, if you’re Japanese Twitter user @tentyo_9130, you stage a kidnapping. You know, to make your husband feel better.
先週土曜日、唐突に旦那を拉致してみました
— ネギ天🥦 (@tentyo_9130) August 25, 2020
旦那は職業柄泊まり勤務で朝9時まで仕事なので、その時間に合わせて旦那の会社の前で仁王立ちして旦那を捕獲。
旦那は「えっ?!何!?どうして居るの!!?!」とわたわたしていました
私「これから貴方を拉致します」
旦那「意味が分からないのですが」
@tentyo_9130’s story starts with:
“Last Saturday, I decided to suddenly kidnap my husband. We had been working an overnight shift, so at 9 the next morning I stood boldly in front of his office, waiting for him to come out. ‘What? Why are you here?!?’ he asked in surprise, and I told him ‘I’m here to kidnap you.’”
@tentyo_9130’ s husband was, naturally, confused by this sudden turn of events. “We’ve got a Shinkansen to catch, so let’s get moving,” she commanded, dragging him to the nearest station where Japan’s bullet train stops. Once they arrived, she gave him a ticket so that he could get through the gate and onto the train, but made sure to hand it to him face down, so that he couldn’t see the destination written on the other side. “Turning the ticket over, as well as checking our current location on your phone using GPS, are forbidden,” she sternly informed him.
何だかんだと口にするものの、きちんと言いつけを守る旦那えらい。
— ネギ天🥦 (@tentyo_9130) August 25, 2020
ソワソワしながらスマホをチラチラ見るものの、仕事着と空の弁当箱を抱えた旦那はすごすご新幹線乗り場まで着いてきた
旦那「ちなみに、あの、着替えとかあるんです…?」(震え声)
私「祈れ」
旦那「そ、そんなぁ…」 pic.twitter.com/vfvv8CPiEl
Though he was becoming increasingly flustered, her husband complied with her instructions. As they waited on the platform, with him still dressed in his work clothes, he glanced at the suitcase @tentyo_9130 had brought. “Umm, by the way, is there a change of clothes for me in there?” he asked in a trembling voice. “Keep quiet,” was all @tentyo_9130 said in response.
Soon after, their train pulled up, and @tentyo_9130’s husband was startled to see that they’d be riding in a Green Car, the bullet train’s equivalent to a first-class carriage. “Whoa, I’ve never ridden in a Green Car before!” he said. “The sign on the train says it’s going to Nagoya. Wait, is that where we’re going? But it’s a local train, so it’ll stop at other stations along the way. Hey, where are you taking me?” Once again, @tentyo_9130 refused to supply him with any information, and merely laughed at his mixture of panic and sleep-deprived excitement.
As they boarded and took their seats, @tentyo_9130 handed her husband an eye mask and a set of earplugs. “Sleep” she instructed him, but also proved herself to be a not entirely heartless captor when she allowed him to take them off/out after he was unable to doze off. The train made its way west from Tokyo, passing through a handful of stations before the announcement informed passengers that the next stop would be Mishima Station. “We’re getting off” @tentyo_9130 abruptly informed her husband. “What? Mishima? What prefecture is that even???” he asked.
仕方ないのでそのまま起きている事に
— ネギ天🥦 (@tentyo_9130) August 25, 2020
熱海を過ぎて「次は三島駅」とアナウンス
私「降りるよ」
旦那「え?三島?どこ?何県???」
何県かも分からないまま下ろされ、ローカル線に乗り換える
降りてすぐ伊豆箱根鉄道の文字が
旦那「伊豆箱根鉄道?!伊豆?!!伊豆だ!!静岡か!?!」
大正解 pic.twitter.com/KqYr9MjoQf
But their journey was still far from over. After getting off the Shinkansen, they transferred to a local line, which gave @tentyo_9130’s husband a hint as to where they were when he saw that the gates were marked “Izu Hakone Railway.” “We’re on the Izu Peninsula…in Shizuoka Prefecture!?!” he correctly deduced, now two prefectures away from his office in Tokyo.
“We’re taking this train to the end of the line” @tentyo_9130 told her husband as they got on. “OK. How long is the ride?” he quarried, to which she answered “Yeah, I wonder. I’ve never been here before either.” With no temporal hints available, @tentyo_9130’s husband tried to pry a little more geographical info out of his kidnapper. “So, when we get to the end of the line, is that as far as we’re going?” he asked. “Nope. We’re taking a bus after that,” she explained.
By this point, @tentyo_9130’s husband’s panic level was starting to rise again. “Is there at least any civilization where we’re going? Is there phone service?” “Like I told you, I’ve never been there so I don’t know,” she coolly replied. “Then at least tell me where we’re going, so I can Google it and make sure!” he pleaded, but all he got was a stern “Nope.”
In time, they reached the end of the train line and got on the bus. As it pulled away from the station, the road it followed wound up into the mountains, running along the ridge of a cliff with a sharp drop. @tentyo_91307s husband’s question about “civilization” turned out to be prescient, as their surroundings became increasingly rural during the hour-long ride. Finally they came around a corner and @tentyo_9130’s husband looked out the window to see…
バスから見える風景がどんどん田舎になるにつれ憔悴して行く旦那
— ネギ天🥦 (@tentyo_9130) August 25, 2020
約1時間バスに揺られ到着したのは客室露天風呂付き旅館だった
私「慰安旅行です。さあ、温泉に浸かりなさい」
旦那「おお…おお…温泉だ…なんだこれ…え…なんで…温泉だ????わ、わーい!!!温泉だ!!」
単純な旦那で良かった pic.twitter.com/hWIHqGmAuF
…a hot spring resort town.
“This is a trip for rest and relaxation. When we get off the bus, head straight into the onsen bath,” @tentyo_9130 said, letting her husband know for the very first time why she’d kidnapped him, to which he reacted with:
“Wow…wow…hot springs…what…what’s going on…hot springs???..yes…YES!! Hot springs!”
私「実感は湧きましたか?」
— ネギ天🥦 (@tentyo_9130) August 25, 2020
旦那「いえ、まだよく分かんないです。でも、なんか、温泉に入っています」
頭が追い付いていないようだ。 pic.twitter.com/Q4sKSyTANc
@tentyo_9130 had reserved a room for them with its own private rotemburo (open-air bath). “So do you understand what’s going on?” she asked after they checked in. “No, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it,” he said, “But, I’m heading into the bath.”
温泉1時間浸かった後、夜勤明けで寝ていない旦那を一旦寝かし付け。
— ネギ天🥦 (@tentyo_9130) August 25, 2020
起きたところにもう一度「温泉ですよ」と伝えてみた所、やっと現実味が出てきたのか「本当に温泉だ…」等と呟いて居ました。
拉致大成功の瞬間である。 pic.twitter.com/ZzgVbfc0MG
After a nice long soak, @tentyo_9130’s tiredness from his night shift finally caught up with him, and he stretched out and took a nap. When he woke up, @tentyo_9130 reminded him “We’re at a hot spring,” and for the first time, everything that was happening finally sunk in as he happily murmured “We’re really at a hot spring…” “And that was the moment that I declared my kidnapping plan a success,” @tentyo_9130 recalls.
起きてからはコーヒー牛乳を飲んでみたり宿の夕飯食べたりまた温泉に浸かったり、海を散歩したりビリヤードしたりときちんと楽しめましたとさ。
— ネギ天🥦 (@tentyo_9130) August 25, 2020
旅行の日程を知らされないまま&行先の分からないまま連行するの面白いので皆様も是非やってみて下さいね pic.twitter.com/wAqjLTzOlD
@tentyo_9130 doesn’t give away the exact location they stayed at (she’s got to keep some mystery, after all), but does disclose that they stayed in a ryokan (traditional Japanese inn) on the west coast of the Izu Peninsula, in Shizuoka Prefecture. After her husband woke up, they spent the rest of their trip enjoying delicacies like fresh sashimi, onsen staple treats like coffee milk, walking along the beach, and shooting pool. All simple pleasures by themselves, but the sort of little things it’s easy to forget to treat yourself to when you’re caught up in the day-to-day grind of work and adult responsibilities. So when you spot someone you love forgetting to make time for them, @tentyo_9130 recommends taking matters into your own hands, and kidnapping them out of kindness.
Source: Twitter/@tentyo_9130 via Jin
Top image: Pakutaso
Insert images: Pakutaso (1, 2)
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Follow Casey on Twitter, where he thinks there are few problems in life that don’t feel a little better after a soak in an onsen.
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