Suspect will hopefully also be charged with mental anguish for not telling us why.

What drives a man to steal? Is it hunger, greed, lust, wrath, and envy?

Yes, of course it’s all of those things.

Okay, that was easy, but try this one on for size: what drives a man to steal… seven piano covers? And by that, I mean the large cloths used to keep dust off pianos rather than alternate arrangements of your favorite tunes.

▼ Sigh… if only one could steal talent.

This is the question on everyone’s mind after police announced the arrest of Yoshitaka Mizuno, suspected of stealing at least one piano cover from a junior high school in Atsuta Ward, Nagoya.

Mizuno allegedly broke a glass window and entered the school, absconding with the large cloth valued at 7,000 yen (US$66). This break-in happened back in August of 2015 and is one of four reported thefts of piano covers at that school since 2014.

Police were finally able to track down the culprit and made the arrest this month. However, a subsequent search of Mizuno’s apartment revealed a stash of seven piano covers which police are currently trying to link to other burglaries. Meanwhile, Mizuno reportedly admitted to the August 2015 theft.

Now that you are up to speed on what happened, you may join myself and others online in the anguish of trying to figure out what Mizuno’s motive could have possibly been.

“There’s still a lot of mysteries in the world….”
“Maybe piano covers made his home look more luxurious and it grew into a habit.”
“This is a level of perversion even I can’t understand.”
“There are all kinds of people in the world.”
“I haven’t seen a perv of this caliber in quite some time.”
“Why piano covers?! Why is the media not telling us this?”
“They do things differently in Nagoya.”
“I do remember my school’s piano cover being quite soft to the touch, but still.”
“Maybe he’s a really passionate collector?”
“I guess they kind of look like skirts.”
“Piano covers cost 7,000 yen?!”
“Hey I like feeling piano covers too, but go out and buy one like a normal weirdo.”
“Does he get off on the smell of them?”

It’s understandable that many people would jump to the “pervert” conclusion. We’ve covered countless bizarre thefts from boots covered in chicken guts to whistles to tennis rackets, and they always seem to boil down to a person enjoying someone’s particular scent a bit too much.

But a piano cover tends to have minimal contact with people, and probably wouldn’t be much different smelling from a brand new one.

▼ A nicely worn-in bass guitar, on the other hand, can bring the funk in multiple ways

If it’s just a matter of the feel, then there has to be a fabric with similar texture available somewhere else that doesn’t involve breaking the law.

The next logical possibility would be that he needed it for his piano, because as many comments pointed out, they can be rather steeply priced. However, he was found to have seven of them, and while reports didn’t mention whether Mizuno was a piano owner, it’s extremely unlikely he has seven in his home.

Then there’s the possibility he just gets off on stealing… but then why is it always piano covers?

Ugh, my brain hurts. Hopefully more about Mizuno’s musical motive will be revealed in the future, but until then we’ll all just have to suffer.

Source: YouTube/メ〜テレニュース, Hachima Kiko
Top image: Pakutaso
Insert image: Pakutaso
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