For chefs who think a dessert would look great if it looked like crap.

Japan has a lot of grilled sweets that end in “-yaki” and that have their shape as the first part of their name. Taiyaki, for example, are shaped like tai, or sea bream, and ningyoyaki are shaped like ningyo, or dolls. For a while, there was even a Sonic the Hedgehog-yaki, in the shape of the Sega video game star.

So naturally, Japanese novelty goods maker Hori Shoten’s Unchi-yaki Maker is a kitchen gadget that lets you make sweets that are shaped like unchi. And what does unchi mean?

Poo.

▼ “Let’s have a party with warm unchi-yaki!” invites the promotional image.

Making real poo is something most of us get the hang of pretty soon after being born, and making unchi-yaki isn’t all that much more difficult. Simply put a dab of cooking oil in each indentation, then fill six of the turd-shaped indentations roughly 70-percent full with pancake batter (warning: do not actually poo in the Unchi-yaki Maker). Turn the machine on and let them cook for about two and a half minutes, then use a toothpick or chopstick to flip each of them into the adjacent slot to cook the other side until they’re a nice golden brown all over. If you’re feeling adventurous, Hori Shoten suggests adding a dash of food coloring to the mix, so that you can get vibrant coils that’ll remind you of the last time you were traveling and thought you could handle drinking the local tap water, but actually couldn’t.

Ironically for a culture that often places such a high value on cleanliness, Japan also has a soft spot for poop jokes, as evidenced by the fact that the unchi-yaki are modeled after the tight twist of manga poop that’s been seen in Japanese comics and animation for generations. Since spreading the word about the product, Hori Shoten has been getting plenty of childish chuckles and enthusiastic comments online, such as:

“As soon as I found out about this, I ordered one immediately.”
“I think I need five of them.”
“I want that rainbow poop!”
“Eat. Poop. Eat. The cycle goes on.”
“I think I’d have to drizzle some chocolate sauce on them.”

Hori Shoten won’t mind if you try that last idea. As a matter of fact, the company itself recommends adding a chocolate coating to make the poop cakes look “extra realistic.”

▼ Even Japanese masturbatory aid maker Tenga, which knows a thing or two about far-out product design, was beyond words at Hori Shoten’s bold vision, and could only tweet “This is…”

The Unchi-yaki Maker can be ordered online directly from Hori Shoten here, priced at just 1,430 yen (US$13). Please be aware that unlike some similar Japanese cooking gadgets, it cannot be converted to a flat hot plate by removing the molds. This is a device for cooking poo-shaped food, and poo-shaped food only.

With unchi-yaki being such an avant-garde confectionary, though, you might be wondering when it’s appropriate to enjoy them. Hori Shoten mentions a number of potential occasions, such as birthday and Christmas parties. Granted, Christmas is supposed to be a romantic time of year in Japan, but presenting your lover with a fresh-cooked pile of unchi-yaki, and eating them in the soft glow of a Daiso Light Up Poop Stick should make for a yuletide date neither one of you will ever forget.

Source: Hori Shoten, Twitter/@horishoten
Images: Hori Shoten
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