The future of grandparenting is now!

It’s time we faced some hard truths, grandchildren are inefficient drains on our time and money. Sure they have their moments and will sometimes produce goods and services such as macaroni art and retrieving small items from under the sofa, but by and large they are a burden to society and, quite frankly, potential vectors for disease.

However, this is the 21st century and technical wonders abound. We now have the capability to make grandchildren better than they were before – better, stronger, faster.

Japanese toy maker Takara Tomy hasn’t quite done all that, but their e-grandchild named Ami-chan can still be considered a marked improvement on grandchildren of the flesh. Ami-chan boasts a 1,600 word vocabulary and utilizes facial recognition to identify each grandparent and address them by name once it is registered in her memory bank.

▼ She can see you.

Her fabric frame is highly hug-resistant and she has a head of fully brushable hair. Ami-chan can also sing 40 nursery rhymes and songs, recite 35 tongue twisters, ask questions that vary depending on the time and season, and talk in her sleep in the most gosh-darn adorable way, all on four C batteries.

▼ Check out this video of Ami-chan in action. It’s all Japanese but her heartwarming capabilities transcend language

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-nGW6hdWOk

This state-of-the-art smartgrandchild will only be sold on the online shop Takara Tomy Mall for 27,500 yen (US$250). She will go on sale from 27 August and all models sold before 15 September will be guaranteed to be delivered in time for Respect for the Aged Day on 20 September.

As with any revolutionary technology, people aren’t quite sure what to make of Ami-chan at first. But with time they’ll learn… Everyone will learn.

“Scary.”
“I think my grandpa would prefer a robot escort.”
“It’s come to this…”
“I think one of those robot dogs that do backflips would suffice.”
“They should add a medical alert button to her too.”
“It’s cheaper than I expected.”
“If she breaks I would be too scared to throw her away.”
“Imagine buying one at a second-hand shop and it keeps calling out the name of its previous owner who died…”
“This is so sad.”
“It sounds like she can speak in the Kansai dialect too.”
“I once saw an old lady pushing around a doll in a baby carriage, so this might work.”

Understandably, Ami-chan might be a big step that some families aren’t ready to take yet. For them I recommend starting off with the Sodattete Nihon Ningyo (Raise a Japanese Doll) app, which accurately simulates taking care of your own doll possessed by tortured evil souls. That should prepare you for life eternal with Ami-chan.

Source: Takara Tomy, Golden Times
Images: PR Times
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