I see a bag of goods and it’s all painted black.

It’s the start of the new year, and that means it’s the season for fukubukuro, Japanese lucky bags sold at retailers big and small in Japan. Regular readers are well aware that we review as many of these as possible during New Year’s, and one store that frequently appears in these features is Village Vanguard. This novelty goods shop can be found in most malls across the country and sells a truly random assortment of goods, from cans of root beer to edible panties to SpongeBob Squarepants dolls, so you never quite know what to expect from their lucky bags.

This year, they were even kind enough to send our writer P.K. Sanjun seven of the 10 possible lucky bags you can buy at Village Vanguard for us to review. It’s actually a surprising gesture since his past reviews of Village Vanguard bags haven’t been especially kind, with the words “junk,” “garbage,” and “trash” appearing frequently.

But with a new year comes new hopes of a better tomorrow. In that spirit, he decided to start this year’s group of Village Vanguard fukubukuro with their Black bag that sells for 11,000 yen (US$70), making it their most expensive bag. Normally, this would mean you were in for a treat, but having been let down by their bags so often in the past, P.K.’s optimism was cautious.

Well, no point in worrying about it any longer, time to tear off this band-aid and see if the wound has healed or if there’s still a festering wound there with necrosis setting in.

First out of the bag, he got a slow cooker. It’s a mercifully useful item that can be used to prepare meals. On the other hand, P.K. couldn’t really remember a time in his entire life when he’d said, “If I only had a slow cooker right now!” so maybe it wasn’t that useful after all.

It wasn’t shown on the box, but the cooker itself had a kind of ’70s floral pattern on the side. He thought it was pretty nice. At the same time, Village Vanguard always seems to put some kind of cooking appliance in their bags, as if to justify the purchase, but it’s gotten to the point that it now feels cliche and anti-climatic.

There was also a kitchen scale. This is certainly a more useful device, and sought after by those who work in crack houses, luxury hotel restaurants, and everything in between. Still, it’s not useful enough to justify the 11,000-yen purchase on its own.

▼ Ah, I see it’s a Kitchen Scales brand kitchen scale…s.

Next, P.K. found a wall clock made to look like vinyl record that was made into a wall clock. To that end, it fulfilled its purpose, but you have to wonder why that was ever a purpose to begin with.

There was also a pillow with a retro ’70s pattern yet again. This was the highlight of the bag so far, not for any particular reason though. It’s just that pillows are nice in general.

After that came a Polaroid camera. It wasn’t something our writer especially wanted either, but they do tend to sell for a lot and still have a fair bit of appeal. It was enough to make him think this bag might be a winner after all.

The English labeling on the box didn’t immediately jump out at our Japanese writer, however. It was probably the roll of toilet paper in the picture that tipped him off first. Then, he read more slowly to find that it wasn’t a Polaroid, but a Polaroll.

Yes, the Polaroll turned out to be nothing more than a toilet paper dispenser in the shape of a Polaroid camera so that the paper coming out of it looks like photographs.

It was a cute idea, especially since, like with real Polaroids, the paper comes out white at first, only to develop an image soon after, and you’re never quite sure how it will turn out. The only problem is that if you assume it’s a real Polaroid camera at first, it’s impossible not to be disappointed by the truth. That was the final nail in the coffin for the Village Vanguard Black Lucky Bag.

▼ Lucky Bag Verdict: Dud

By the way, there was a real camera in the bag as well. It was a waterproof film camera, but since P.K. had no idea where to buy or develop film since 2007, it did little to raise the value of this not-so-lucky bag.

Despite what we learned in Passenger 57, you probably shouldn’t always bet on black. Perhaps one of the remaining six bags will have an overall decent haul, but P.K. isn’t holding his breath.

Photos ©SoraNews24
Bag design ©Chocolate
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