Nine reasons why Japanese men hesitate to say “I love you”

Whenever someone asks me, “How do you say ‘I love you’ in Japanese?” I’m always at a loss for what to say. In short, there is no good Japanese equivalent. Textbooks and other resources will tell you to say ai shiteru, but in reality this phrase is used very rarely due to cultural and linguistic differences. You would never throw it around casually throughout the day to your friends or family in the way that English speakers use “I love you.” More appropriate perhaps is the phrase suki da, which translates roughly to a strong “I like you” in a platonic or romantic sense. Either way, the specific connotations of each saying get lost in translation.

Enter Sugoren, a Japanese dating advice site. Earlier this year they conducted an online survey asking 165 bachelors in their teens and twenties to provide reasons why they don’t say ai shiteru to their girlfriends. Based on the results, they were able to compile a list of nine common patterns that prevent men from saying ai shiteru. If you’re dating a Japanese man and have yet to hear the fabled words, you may find yourself in one of the situations below!

Read More