You’re back! Lovely to see you. Now shut up and face the corner.

Yes, that’s right boys and girls, it’s time for another multiple choice quiz where we throw random bizarre questions at you and see how much you learned this week about news from Japan and Asia. Don’t dilly-dally now; Hitler, Donald Trump’s hair, and a manga about love eggs are all waiting for you after the jump!

If you don’t know the rules by now then you automatically lose a point, but if you’re new to this all then remember to highlight the space between the square brackets [ If Yoshi’s a boy, why does he lay eggs? ] after the word “Answer:” or click the “Read more” link to see if if you’re right. (And yes, I promise we’ll be sprucing our quiz up as soon as we can, but right now all of our money is being poured into a legal battle to free Mr. Sato’s 12 clones. I can’t really talk about it…)

Let’s get to it then, shall we?

  • Question 1.

Which familiar figure was spotted running in the Tokyo Marathon last weekend?

A: Michael Flatley Lord of the Dance
B: The Artist Formerly Known as Prince
C: Adolf Hitler
D: Jesus Christ

Answer: [ D ] Read more

  • Question 2. 

Complete the sentence: Peko-chan, the chubby-cheeked mascot for Japanese confectioner Fujiya, is based on…

Screen Shot 2014-02-28 at 2.11.58 PMImage: Japanese Wallpapers

A: …the daughter of the company’s founder
B: …the illustrations of Chihiro Iwasaki
C: …another company’s mascot. What a rip-off!
D: …Mei from Ghibli’s My Neighbor Totoro

Answer: [  C  ] Read more

  • Question 3.

Which of the following unusual products did a Japanese company recently launch?

A: A bra certified by the Japan Bouncing Breast Support Group
B: A pillow officially recognized by the All Japan Pillow Fighting Association
C: “Mouth Condom” plastic film from the Japanese Herpes Association
D: “Eye Bath” units approved by the East Japan Pirate Foundation

Answer: [  B  ] Read more

  • Question 4.

Which of the following was Donald Duck pictured chasing in Tokyo Disneyland earlier this week?

A: High school girls in short skirts. The filthy swine.
B: Ducklings
C: Cars
D: A dream that will never come true

Answer: [  B  ] Read more

  • Question 5.

What on earth are the railings on these school desks supposed to be for?


A: To keep kids in their seats during class
B: To hold on to during the roller coaster ride that is primary education
C: To drink from hands-free – they have tubes with small holes in them to dispense water
D: To protect the kids’ vision

Answer: [ ] Read more

  • Question 6. 

Figure skating fans angry that Adelina Sotnikova rather than South Korea’s Yuna Kim received gold at the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics recently posted photos of what on the Russian skater’s Facebook wall in protest?

A: Photos of sad pets dressed as figure skaters
B: Photos of her as Shrek the ogre
C: Photos of Donald Trump’s hair saying “you’re fired”
D: Photos of cows rutting in a field

Answer: [ B ] Read more

  • Question 7. 

Which Japanese comic book series did an American manga veteran recently tell Niconico News was his hottest tip to become a best-seller in North America?


A: I’m in the Beatles
B: Your Mum’s a Beetle
C: Saint Young Men
D: Balls, Balls, Balls

Answer: [  C  ] Read more

  • Question 8. 

What did one fearless bank teller in Shanghai do recently when a man threatened her with a butcher’s knife?

A: Laughed in his face
B: Pulled out a bigger knife of her own
C: Started dancing – the would-be thief stared in confusion then ran away
D: Repeatedly said “pardon” until gave up and he walked off

Answer: [ A ] Read more

  • Question 9. 

Which of the following wasn’t given by men in Japan as a reason for wearing surgical masks.


A: To hide their stubble
B: To avoid going out for drinks with colleagues
C: To cover up pimples
D: To yawn more discretely at work

Answer: [ D ] Read more

  • Question 10.

Complete the sentence: I’ve got a lovely bunch of…

A: …coconuts.
B: …friends around me who love and support me.
C: …flowers and they’re for you.
D: …problems and no one cares. Seriously, life is pointless.

Answer: [ A, B or C or D. But if you chose D this is  just a sympathy point]

How angry is Daddy this week?

0 correct: Yep. Pretty f@#king angry. Get out! Get out, you swine!
1-3 correct: Not so angry that he can’t smack you. C’mere.
4-6 correct: Middling. So there’ll be no name-calling but you don’t get dinner.
7-9 correct: Not at all, actually. Have a rice cracker, you little beauty.
10 correct: How could he be angry with you? He’s taking all the kids off his will but you.

See you next time, guys!

Top image via Celebzter edited by RocketNews24