800px-LewdAndAbandonedTheMascot

When I left England for Japan in 2011, I received a card from four schoolfriends of mine. “Keep in touch!” the girls had written. “Have a great time!” The one guy in the group had a slightly different message for me: “Enjoy the tentacle rape porn!”

While for many, Japan evokes imagery of ancient temples, plates of sushi, and Shinkansen, it is also known as the land of crazy weird sex stuff.  (Tentacle erotica, by the way, is much older and, I might add, much rarer than you might think). So when we stumbled across (I know, right! I can’t remember what we were looking for in the first place, either!) a Japanese blog post about surprising sexual fetishes, we knew it was worth sharing.

“What’s your fetish? An introduction to the fetishes you won’t believe exist” runs the title of the list, compiled by 26-year-old Japanese NEET Nura Hikaru. We bring you our top three, plus a few bonus ideas for good measure.

3) Trampling on food

We start with an appetising platter of sushi (wired for sound, of course) and some shapely legs in high heels. What could be going to happen next?

Screen Shot 2014-08-16 at 13.17.40
▼ Oh. So that‘s how they make chirashizushi.

Screen Shot 2014-08-15 at 18.00.30YouTube

This is called fūdo kurasshu (“food crush”), apparently. The video is age-restricted on YouTube, so you’ll need to be logged in to see it – but don’t worry, it’s not that sexy. Unless you think sushi getting squished is sexy. Which, as we have established, some people do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpSl-D_R6XA

2) “Soaked woman”

Job-hunting university students in Japan wear a specific style of black suit called a “recruit-suit” (try googling リクルートスーツ if you want to know what zillions of identically dressed students look like every year on their way to interview). Of course, when searching for employment, it’s imperative that you maintain a pristine appearance at all times. Falling into a swimming pool en route to your interview? That’s a big no-no. And things that are taboo, of course, are easy to fetishise.

▼ Other unlikely recruit-suit activities include blowing bubbles and jumping rope.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0TpnXhoRnI

▼ The sequel ‘Recruit Suit 2: I lost my glasses in the wave pool’ is out next month…

Screen Shot 2014-08-16 at 13.06.15

…just kidding.

▼ We do get to see her playing with cups and balls, albeit with a slightly confused expression and in a decidedly safe-for-work way.

Screen Shot 2014-08-16 at 13.06.31YouTube

1) “Walking on tatami”

3429233_16gudachan

Wearing shoes inside the house is one of those things that people tend to feel very strongly about, depending entirely on whether they did it or not growing up. I grew up on a farm and spent a lot of time outside playing in animal dung, which amongst other things instilled in me the belief that people who wear shoes indoors are either misguided, wrong, or live in very clean neighbourhoods. This makes it very easy in Japan, where you have to take your shoes off all kinds of places – temples, schools, sometimes restaurants, toilets – although is also a constant source of disappointment for a certain kind of Japanese person who really just wants me to tell them about how western people wear shoes inside and English people eat fish and chips all the time.

Seeing as some fetishes have their origins in an activity that is – or is in some way perceived as being – forbidden, it’s perhaps no surprise that there’s a market for videos of OL (“office lady”) walking on tatami. (I’m not saying it’s a big or remotely mainstream market, but the market is there). You’re not even supposed to walk on tatami in slippers, it’s so delicate and important, so trampling on it in heels is kind of a big deal.

Looking at these pictures does make me feel a bit odd, actually, although presumably not in the way the directors were hoping for.

▼ “Oh, oh no.”

3429233_10
▼ “Not my gumdrop buttons!”

3429233_12gudachan

These sexual fetishes seem so, well, non-sexual; but that’s kind of the point. To fetishise something is to make sexual something that is not conventionally regarded as sexual, whether that’s rubber, feet, or walking on traditional matting.

Hikaru also has a bunch of other “believe it or not!” fetish suggestions, including:

  • Uwabaki, white indoor shoes typically worn by Japanese children.
  • Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, the pleasant tingling feeling of hearing sounds such as whispering or the rustle of paper – although it’s worth pointing out that many people who experience ASMR argue that it is not sexual and would probably object to it being included in a list like this.
  • Nose picking, teeth picking…and so on.

Sadly for my buddy, there’s no mention of tentacles. I still have that card from my friends, though, and the small ball-pen illustration of a slithering tentacle that he drew for me. I was worried about what my new coworkers in Japan might think, so that particular good luck card never made it onto my desk at work. Some things are best kept under wraps.

Sources: soredemo, gudachan
Top image: Wikipedia/Infrogmation
Featured image: gudachan