TC 2

Context is everything in determining what constitutes a long time. For example, if your boss rewards you for finishing up a long, difficult project by permitting you to take a seven-second vacation, I’m guessing you’d find that amount of time to be less than sufficient. On the other hand, if I asked you to calm a hamster that’s both frenzied and weaponized by pressing it firmly against the warmth of your breast for seven seconds, I have a hunch that’s longer than you’d be willing to hold out for.

Seven seconds is also way too long to be chilling in the middle of the road as you cross the street. That sort of lollygagging is liable to get you hit by a car, or, if you’re this man in China, three of them.

While you won’t see any blood or gore, be aware that this article’s title is not a clever play on words, and it really does contain video of a dude getting hit by multiple automobiles.

As reported by both On Demand News and The Telegraph, the unfortunate incident, or more accurately, the triple-helping of unfortunate incidents, occurred in the city of Kunshan in Eastern China. The man, identified only by his surname, Li, can be seen entering from the left side of the video’s frame as it opens.

TC 1

Li absolutely nails the first step of the complex process of crossing the street. But after he gets about a third of the way to the other side, for whatever reason, he decides to just hang out for a full seven seconds.

That plan works out about as well as you’d expect.

After getting clipped from behind by one car, Li is partially spun around and falls to the ground. And while it’s now the fault of his injuries rather than his own lack of focus, this only extends the amount of time he’s occupying a lane meant for cars.

This time, his luck holds out a little longer. 10 seconds, to be precise.

TC 3

The second impact is far more forceful than the first, rolling Li’s body completely over. Thankfully, it’s at this point that some passing motorists come to his aid. The Samaritans park, get out, and stand in front of Li to stop traffic.

TC 4

But the road apparently isn’t done showering Li with its rage. An approaching car has to slam on its brakes to stop in time, but the vehicle behind it isn’t as quick to react. It crashes into the back of the first car, pushing it forward so that it, in the words of On Demand News, “slightly ran over him again, accidentally.”

▼ Being “slightly” run over is still “incredibly” painful, even if the driver didn’t do it on purpose.

TC 5

In light of this final round tag-team action, we’re not sure if it’s more accurate to say that Li was hit by three cars or two and a half cars. The data is more precise regarding his number of fractured ribs, with the final tally there being six. On Demand News also reports that he suffered several fractures in his left leg, and while we’re sure that’s a bummer, it’s still a much better outcome than the several deaths most people would come away with after being on the receiving end of that much vehicular kinetic energy.

Li remains hospitalized, but is said to be making steady progress towards recovery. As a final odd note, although the incident happened on October 28, it wasn’t until this week that Li’s story started drawing major attention from global media outlets. While it’s possible the delay was due to the early stage of his hospitalization, our theory is that Li has simply been trying to keep as low a profile as possible.

After all, watching that video, it really does look like the world is out to get him.

Sources: The Telegraph, YouTube
Images: YouTube